Gordon Korman: I hate France. It's like the whole country's on a diet

Ask yourself: 'Do I feel the need to laminate?' Then teaching is for you.

Gordon Korman

teaching teacher needs

When we lock things away," he said with conviction, "we're really imprisoning ourselves.

Gordon Korman

locks conviction said

The dog always dies. Go to the library and pick out a book with an award sticker and a dog on the cover. Trust me, that dog is going down.

Gordon Korman

awards dog book

If it isn't on YouTube, it might as well have never happened.

Gordon Korman

youtube wells might

In our family, you don't get a childhood. We're too busy trying to dominate the world.

Gordon Korman

childhood trying world

Global warming doesn't care what's in your bank account." -Sinead Starling

Gordon Korman

bank-accounts global-warming care

Oh, no-" They weren't even on the runway, and Jonah's father was already immersed in his BlackBerry. "Remember those 'Live Large with the Wiz Generation' posters? Well, guess how that translates into Chinese- 'Jonah Wizard Makes Your Ancestors Fat'.

Gordon Korman

chinese generations father

Free food!" mumbled Hamilton, his mouth full. "No wonder you're rich. You don't have to pay for anything." "Since when is it free?" Jonah demanded. "If I don't leave a big tip, it'll be all over Europe that the Wiz is a cheapskate! They'll seat me behind the sound-man from the penguin movie at the Oscars!

Gordon Korman

sound europe men

Nellie's brow furrowed. "The great Mr. Hip-Hop Mogul standing in line with the common peasants? How do you figure that?" Dan grinned. "I'm starting to dig this 'no cars' thing. It's a great equalizer.

Gordon Korman

moguls car hip-hop

Ask me. I'm a cow expert.

Gordon Korman

ask-me cows experts

The thing about a cavity search is this: it has nothing to do with the dentist.

Gordon Korman

dentist

What did Romeo and Juliet do?” They died,” I remind her gently. “Some mix-up with the poison-

Gordon Korman

juliet died poison

Dan was suspicious. "How did he find out where we were staying?" Amy frowned. "I think that's the message inside the message. He wants us to know that he has a long reach–that's he's rich and powerful." "Like we'll see his giant mansion and assume he works at Burger King," scoffed Dan.

Gordon Korman

powerful kings thinking

Nobody got me out," Nellie replied. "They just let me go. They think I'm a deranged Jonah Wizard fan. Apparently, the hotel's full of them. A couple of idiots actually jumped off the front balcony. Can you picture that?" "In Technicolor," Amy said bitterly. "That low-down KGB reject!" Dan fumed. "I can't believe she cheated me–right when I was in the middle of cheating her!

Gordon Korman

couple believe cheating

Don't think of it as losing a boyfriend. Think of it as gaining a stalker." -Dan Cahill

Gordon Korman

losing thinking

You two have to promise to be careful!" Sinead handed Amy a small plastic bag. "I made you a going-away present–a high-powered miniature smoke bomb. Could come in handy against the Vespers. It works with knockout gas, so I tossed in a couple of breathing filters." "That's the Cahill equivalent of a Hallmark moment," Dan observed. "A smoke bomb. When you care enough to send the very best–explosives." "I'm not a flowers-and-candy kind of girl," Sinead informed him.

Gordon Korman

girl couple flower

Dan moved forward and replaced Jonah at the helm. "I've got a plan!" "That's my man!" The famous grin disappeared as Jonah took in the grim determination in Dan's features. His expression was as flat and expressionless as a naked skull. Dan steered the hurtling boat directly toward the rocky shore. "Amy, hang onto that painting!" "That's not a plan!" Jonah shouted. "That's suicide!

Gordon Korman

determination suicide men

Nellie Gomez awoke to a splitting headache. Worse, she was still hungry. "Where's my croissant?" she demanded of the person leaning over her. "Dear child," came a strangely familiar voice. "Don't 'dear child' me!" she snapped. The twenty-two-year-old punk rocker ran black-polished fingernails through black-and-orange-dyed hair, which did nothing to soothe the pounding behind her black-shaded eyes. "Give me my croissant or I'll–" It was then that she suddenly realized she was threatening the venerable Alistair Oh. "Alistair, what are you doing here?

Gordon Korman

eye hair children

Nellie grinned. "I always wanted to go to Venice. It's supposed to be the romance capital of the world." "Sweet," put in Dan. "Too bad your date is an Egyptian Mau on a hunger strike." The au pair sighed. "Better than an eleven-year-old with a big mouth.

Gordon Korman

hunger-strike sweet years

For someone who'e smarter than a supercomputer, sometimes you're a real idiot.

Gordon Korman

idiot real sometimes