I’m interested in so many different things and I’d like to cover a lot of territory. I’m trying to see my show as the Sunday Times. You have the Arts & Leisure section, you have the Op-Ed page, you have the Book Review...even the Style section has those wonderful essays about relationships.

Joy Behar

Categorized in : Art Book Sunday

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.

stress confusion creative

I don't get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you're jealous of them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time, so what's the point?

jealous waste people

I mean, I'd like to see (Mitt Romney's) house burn, one of his millions of houses burning down. It would be kind of cool - the Mormon fire patrol.

fire house mean

Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not... by Joy Behar

Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not voting for you, b*tch.

voting flower stupid

Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Beca... by Joy Behar

Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.

skinny killing weight

Everyone thinks I'm Jewish. I'm not. Last year I got a call: "Happy Hanukkah." I said "Ma, I'm not Jewish."

lasts years thinking

Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall through. You know what they say: 'The show must go off.

play two fall

Republican Party hasn't been black friendly over the many centuri... by Joy Behar

Republican Party hasn't been black friendly over the many centuries in this country.

black party country

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an elec... by Joy Behar

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.

electric-shock pills giving

I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to brea... by Joy Behar

I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe...

intelligent want rooms

Madeleine Albright, when you see her, she's not a beautiful woman and she's getting older. But you're saying that woman has gravitas. She knows what she's talking about.

getting-older beautiful talking

A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.

growing-up choices thinking

As far as people communicating with each other well I think that listening is important. You know really trying to read between the lines of what some body is saying and trying to read their mind a little bit where there at because most people don't really say what they're feeling. Which is the bones of great literature.

feelings people thinking

I am comfortable with myself, and this is how I am. I am not really interested in having an acrimonious fight with somebody.

comfortable fighting

Is there such a thing as a man-made stroke? In other words, did someone do this to (Democratic Senator Tim Johnson)? ...I know what this [Republican] party is capable of.

party stupid men

The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad sha... by Joy Behar

The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad shape.

shapes feelings people

It's not interesting enough if you don't know who you are, what you want. You need to make educated decisions about your moves and talk to people who care about you. And you need to have people who will have your back.

people interesting moving

If you have trouble with finding things you should get into some kind of therapy with a good therapist if you need, I mean I just believe in therapy for everybody. I really do. I don't think any body can escape it.

mean believe thinking

He's a terrorist. Rush Limbaugh is a terrorist. by Joy Behar

He's a terrorist. Rush Limbaugh is a terrorist.

terrorist

I have a friend who actually told me that she'd rather be dead than be fat. This is a woman who, if I order a sandwich at lunch, she'll order a salad. If I order a salad, she'll order half a cantaloupe. If I order half a cantaloupe, she'll order a cup of coffee. This bizarre contest continues until she's down to sucking on a mint-flavored toothpick. At this rate, her preference for dying over being fat could be a reality sooner than she thinks.

coffee reality thinking