I wanted to communicate and connect. I simply didn't seem able to do it. Mary Gaitskill More Quotes by Mary Gaitskill More Quotes From Mary Gaitskill My ambition was to live like music. Mary Gaitskill my-ambition music ambition I think people try to make the most of their time on earth and also to fix their time on earth. They try to fix external verities, things that are true for all time, ideas that are true for all time: Rome will last forever! America will last forever! Beauty, as defined by the fashion industry, is one of those things—this is beautiful. This will always be beautiful—and hold it in a way that has some sense of permanence about it, and absoluteness. And yet it’s not. Mary Gaitskill fashion beautiful thinking But now all the natural secrets have been exposed, and it is likely that the turtles have been sold to laboratory scientists who want to remove their shells so that they can wire electrodes to the turtles' skin in order to monitor their increasing terror at the loss of their shells. Mary Gaitskill turtles loss order If I'm meeting somebody for the first time, I don't look them up on Wikipedia, or I try not to, because I would not want somebody to be thinking they knew me based on that. It's like even private citizens have to deal with this persona phenomenon. Mary Gaitskill first-time trying thinking Writing is.... being able to take something whole and fiercely alive that exists inside you in some unknowable combination of thought, feeling, physicality, and spirit, and to then store it like a genie in tense, tiny black symbols on a calm white page. If the wrong reader comes across the words, they will remain just words. But for the right readers, your vision blooms off the page and is absorbed into their minds like smoke, where it will re-form, whole and alive, fully adapted to its new environment. Mary Gaitskill white feelings writing Of course there’s something there; unfortunately, there’s always something ‘there.’ Something you will one day be sorry you saw. Mary Gaitskill saws one-day sorry I think the closest thing I can come to defining what that vital thing is for me - is that there's a sort of soul-quality in writing, if it's any good. It has a spirit or an energy to it that is very integral to who the writer is on a deep level. It's almost a cellular thing. It takes place in the cells of the writing, and it is what makes it alive or not. Mary Gaitskill cells writing thinking I can be very in my head, but I don't trust my head all that much. My head is crazy. My head will talk to itself all day and all night if I let it. And my heart is less nutty, but it's kind of like an overexcited child. I don't trust my heart all that much either. My body is like a good horse. I trust my body. Mary Gaitskill horse crazy children You can teach people a lot about craft and various techniques, and you can certainly teach them to appreciate, but you cannot give them spirit or soul if it's not there. Mary Gaitskill appreciate giving people Human beings look so different from each other, voices are so different, everything about us is so individual, and that's so exciting and juicy and appealing, and we're attached to these things and they're so fascinating and beautiful - I don't just mean model-beautiful, but all the individual forms that people can take. Mary Gaitskill voice beautiful mean The best definition I've heard is that guilt is about what you've done, shame is about who you are. If something's out of my control, I don't feel shame about it, because what could I have done? If you're guilty, you can at least try to atone for it or make it better or not do it again. If it's who you are, you can't do much about it except change yourself, and that's pretty hard. Mary Gaitskill guilt done trying I became very aware of how important it is to connect with children - possibly for the children, if they're in the mood for that - but certainly for the adults. Mary Gaitskill mood important children It was like everything that supported the relationship was coming from the outside. Judging by all the signs, we were a perfectly successful couple and John was an ideal husband for me - rich, blond, tall, sensitive, ad nauseam. But even worse, it seemed as if our most intimate conversations were based on what we were supposed to be saying, and what we were supposed to be. Nothing seemed to come directly from us. Mary Gaitskill husband couple successful When he held her that way, she felt so happy that it disturbed her. After he left, it would take her hours to fall asleep, and then when she woke up she would feel another onrush of agitated happiness, which was a lot like panic. She wished she could grab the happiness and mash it into a ball and hoard it and gloat over it, but she couldn't. It just ran around all over the place, disrupting everything. Mary Gaitskill panic balls fall The only way to know whats possible is to venture past impossible. Mary Gaitskill venture way past I think, life is miserable. Mary Gaitskill miserable thinking The art of integrating the ego and the impulse for empathy in a dynamic call and response. Mary Gaitskill empathy writing art I remember the time I said, 'I don't think you love yourself. You need to learn to love yourself.' Mary Gaitskill love-you needs thinking He had lunch with Cecilia that afternoon. They ate their corned beef on rye and cream cheese with lox in a diner peopled by waiters who looked like they´d met with utter disappointment and become attached to it. Mary Gaitskill beef lunch disappointment Sexuality is a place where people are very vulnerable and can be experiencing and embodying very raw forces that they don't really understand and there's a question of how much you should control and how much you should play with those and what those forces really are, how you really feel about them. That's perennial. Mary Gaitskill sexuality vulnerable people
