If you've experienced cheating in a new marriage, the real work is not obsessively combing through all the details of what happened, but rather figuring out if your relationship is worth saving. Emily V. Gordon More Quotes by Emily V. Gordon More Quotes From Emily V. Gordon Divorce is one of the most destructive, emotionally traumatic experiences a human being can go through, no matter if you're the instigator or the recipient. It's hard, and it hurts, and it takes a long time to feel normal again. Emily V. Gordon feel you time long Betrayal can be extremely painful, but it's up to you how much that pain damages you permanently. Emily V. Gordon you betrayal pain painful Your life story is a gift, and it should be treated as such. Emily V. Gordon gift your story life Without knowing your own history, you are doomed to repeat it. Emily V. Gordon your own you history When we each focus on being the dominant force in our own universe rather than invading other universes, we all win. Emily V. Gordon own win universe focus Keeping physical items from the past is important - we keep old toys, grandparents' jewelry, yearbooks, dance recital programs - and we assign meaning to them. Those items become the memories, and that's a very healthy thing to do. The problems occur when we have too many of those sentimental items, and they start weighing us down. Emily V. Gordon problems dance memories past Being completely independent doesn't make you a strong woman - it's being strong enough to trust yourself in other people's hands that takes guts. Emily V. Gordon woman yourself you trust I think it's always good to get into your partner's mindset. Emily V. Gordon partner your good think If you've had a marriage that ended because of a betrayal in trust on your spouse's behalf, the idea of trusting another person with your heart can seem completely ridiculous. Emily V. Gordon you trust marriage heart A lot of people end up getting married more out of expectation than out of passion for each other, but if your options have ever been, 'We either get married or break up,' be careful. Marriage should be a new addition you add to the house that is your relationship, not the structure you impose on the house once it's already built. Emily V. Gordon you passion marriage relationship Often, when cheating happens, we rush to place blame solely on one person - either the person who did the cheating, or more insidiously, if it happened to us, we blame ourselves for not being 'good enough' to keep them around. But putting it all on one person doesn't paint the entire picture. Emily V. Gordon picture good blame cheating Things can be tough even when surrounded by nice Pottery Barn stuff. Emily V. Gordon surrounded things tough nice Ghosts of Marriages Past can haunt many aspects of a new relationship - your expectations of what a man should do, how you behave in conflict, your ideas of how commitment should look - they can even make your new man look untrustworthy when he's really behaving normally. Emily V. Gordon look you man relationship Stays at the in-laws' aren't inherently sexy. Emily V. Gordon inherently stays in-laws sexy Cheating is very rarely about the actual act of being with another person. Emily V. Gordon act person being cheating In high school, I decided that all of my female friends were stupid and traded them for guy friends. I loved horror movies and heavy metal and used these interests to become a 'guys' girl.' Emily V. Gordon friends girl stupid school Holiday food is rich and indulgent. Going-home-to-see-family food is richer and even more indulgent. Emily V. Gordon more rich holiday food I'd watch shows like 'The Kids in the Hall' or 'Twin Peaks,' and I'd see weird people being celebrated and appreciated without compromising their weirdness. On 'The Facts of Life,' I'd see girls who were pudgy, beautiful, popular, tomboyish - many ways of being female - and I'd feel quietly reassured. Emily V. Gordon feel beautiful life people I have a pretty intense work ethic. If something's not done, I cannot let go until I get it done. Emily V. Gordon let-go work-ethic done work Your wedding day is supposed to be your big day, and yet a lot of engaged couples find that instead of creating an event that will be important to them, they're dodging through a minefield of modern etiquette traps. Emily V. Gordon will day wedding important
