My visions and fantasies are pretty standard. The only difference is I got to do it, while most of us haven't. Beyond that, I'm a pretty standard guy. Give me a gal with a sense of humor, acidic wit, who's read a few books and has a body like a Swedish speed skater, and I'm quite content.

David Lee Roth

Categorized in : Book Giving Guy

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. by David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

sports life funny

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

glasses drinking night

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big eno... by David Lee Roth

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

sailing money happiness

The best time is during the struggle. The top of the mountain is usually small, freezing and lonesome. To this day I'm continually reinvesting myself in something new. I'm not afraid to start as a beginner in anything.

mountain something-new struggle

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

making-love perfect morning

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's. by David Lee Roth

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

rock-n-roll sprinkles ashes

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive by David Lee Roth

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

alive games remember

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

glasses tea art

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will m... by David Lee Roth

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

vans records albums

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults. by David Lee Roth

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

conceit faults conceited

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why. by David Lee Roth

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

know-how knows

It dont matter WHAT your doin, ust as long as you LOOK GOOD doin... by David Lee Roth

It dont matter WHAT your doin, ust as long as you LOOK GOOD doin it

ust long looks

Well a good writer writes, a good musician listens to a lot more than he actually composes, and if you're going to do lyrics - well, there's a Freudian slip. That's not even a slip, that's a Freudian move: I said going to do lyrics. If you really want it to ring true, you'll live it first. Go really get your heart broken!

heart writing moving

When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's whe... by David Lee Roth

When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it.

subpoenas made thinking

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

bottles guy giving

We've all got out self-destructive bad habits, the trick is to find four or five you personally like the best and just do those all the time.

rock-n-roll four self

Classic Van Halen made people want to dance and f**k. Modern Van Halen makes you want to drink milk and drive foreign cars.

classic car people

The most important part of any rock song is the guitar solo. by David Lee Roth

The most important part of any rock song is the guitar solo.

rocks guitar song

Women are great. When they dig you, there's nothing they won't do. That kind of loyalty is hard to find - unless you've got a good dog.

loyalty kind dog

I'm a family oriented guy; I've personally started four or five t... by David Lee Roth

I'm a family oriented guy; I've personally started four or five this year.

four guy years