Paranoia is an illness I contracted in institutions. It is not the reason for my sentences to reform school and prison. It is the effect, not the cause. Jack Abbott More Quotes by Jack Abbott More Quotes From Jack Abbott I find it painful and angering to look in a mirror. Jack Abbott painful mirrors looks This world is nothing. An illusion. Death is the release. Jack Abbott release illusion world Most important, you learn never to trust a man, even if he seems honest and sincere. You learn how men deceive themselves and how impossible it is to help them without injuring yourself. Jack Abbott honest important men Imagine a thousand more such daily intrusions in your life, every hour and minute of every day, and you can grasp the source of this paranoia, this anger that could consume me at any moment if I lost control. Jack Abbott imagine anger moments I've wanted somehow to convey to you the sensations - the atmospheric pressure, you might say - of what it is to be seriously a long-term prisoner in an American prison. Jack Abbott pressure might long The part of me which wanders through my mind and never sees or feels actual objects, but which lives in and moves through my passions and my emotions, experiences this world as a horrible nightmare. Jack Abbott passion mind moving When they talk of ghosts of the dead who wander in the night with things still undone in life, they approximate my subjective experience of this life. Jack Abbott subjectivity ghost night My eyes, my brain seek out escape routes wherever I am sent. Jack Abbott umpires eye brain That is how prison is tearing me up inside. It hurts every day. Every day takes me further from my life. Jack Abbott it-hurts prison hurt Because there is something helpless and weak and innocent - something like an infant - deep inside us all that really suffers in ways we would never permit an insect to suffer. Jack Abbott innocence suffering way I feel that if I ever did adjust to prison, I could by that alone never adjust to society. Jack Abbott prison ifs feels As long as I am nothing but a ghost of the civil dead, I can do nothing. Jack Abbott i-can ghost long One morning I woke up and was plunged into psychological shock. I had forgotten I was free. Jack Abbott good-morning psychological forgotten
