To live with the terrible truths about ourselves is the only way of not living them out. A need denied has infinitely more power than a need accepted. Jo Coudert More Quotes by Jo Coudert More Quotes From Jo Coudert It is rewarding to find someone you like, but it is essential to like yourself. It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable. It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things. Jo Coudert self-esteemhealingbelieve You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. Of all the people you will know in the lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose. Jo Coudert being-singleself-esteempeople In order to plan your future wisely, it is necessary that you understand and appreciate your past. Jo Coudert appreciateorderpast You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Jo Coudert being-singleselfinspirational Many people, if they were to treat other people as they treat their spouses, would soon have not a friend in the world. Why it is assumed that marriage is more impervious to the effects of discourtesy than friendship, I do not know. Jo Coudert treatspeopleworld I saw one of the absolute truths of this world: each person is worrying about himself; no one is worrying about you. He or she is worrying about whether you like him, not whether he likes you. He is worrying about whether he looks prepossessing, not whether you are dressed correctly. He is worrying about whether he appears poised, not whether you are. He is worrying about whether you think well of him, not whether he thinks well of you. The way to be yourself ... is to forget yourself. Jo Coudert being-yourselfworrythinking Examining love is like examining a stocking: if you hold it up to the light and stretch it to search for snags, any snags there are may well run and ruin the stocking. In fact, if I may fashion Coudert's law from Heisenberg's principle of indeterminacy, it is this: Love is not only changed by observation; it is changed for the worse. Jo Coudert fashionrunninglove-is There is no way of steering successfully between a failed situation and a failed self except by stopping and taking our bearings. Jo Coudert stoppingfailureself Every life is a dilemma that must be solved by the person living it. Jo Coudert dilemmapersonslife-is We find what we expect to find. We do not see the world as it is but as we are. Jo Coudert expectationsworld The unlived life is not worth examining. ... Self-awareness, self-examination, self-consciousness are for the quiet moments. In the arena they are paralyzing. The self must not be held out of the arena until living skills have been learned. Jo Coudert quiet-momentsconfidenceself The person who conveys, 'I am nothing. Make me something,' may all his life have people trying to answer his hidden plea, but their answer will be in terms of, 'I am trying to make you something because you are nothing,' and, thus, the insult will be embedded in the response. It will be heard just as clearly as the attempt to help. And it will be hated. Jo Coudert answerstryingpeople What nonsense it is, this desire to be without limitations, this wish always to be seen in the most flattering light. We are anxious, not because we think so little of ourselves, but because we think so much of ourselves. We are anxious, not that we may appear in the worst light, but that we may not appear in the best light. Anxiety is born of self-consciousness, and it is alleviated to the exact extent that we can drop consciousness of the self. Jo Coudert lightselfthinking If you defy the system long enough you'll be rewarded. At first life takes revenge and reduces you to a sniveling mess. But keep sniveling, have the madness, the audacity, to do what interests you, forget about your pension, and eventually life will say all right, we'll let you do it. Jo Coudert riskrevengelong Men fear being used; women fear being used up. Jo Coudert usedmen It is characteristic to believe that those in need are given to, that the squeaky hinge is the one that gets the oil, but in the realm of emotions this is not so. It is the person who does not solicit liking and love, admiration and respect, sympathy and empathy to whom they are freely given. Jo Coudert respectoilbelieve If life is envisioned as a continuously running motion picture, the keeping of a notebook stops the action and allows a meaningful scene to be explored frame by frame. Jo Coudert notebookrunningmeaningful People who are good to each other make each other good. Jo Coudert people The cruelest affront is treating the person as exactly the person he is. We all long to be understood, but not for what we are. We long to be understood for what we might have been had all been for the best in the best of all possible worlds and, at the same time, to be forgiven for what we are. Jo Coudert mightlongworld It is possible to ruin a chicken in the cooking of it, but not easily. Short of burning it or letting it get dried out, you can hardly go wrong. Jo Coudert burningruinscooking
