Jessica Valenti: Value yourself for what the media doesn't

Hearing the Beastie Boys speak out against sexism made me feel like if these men who had once sung about getting girls to 'do the laundry' and 'clean up my room' could understand, maybe the rest of the world would follow suit. It made me hopeful in the best way.

Jessica Valenti

girl men boys

Feminism isn't simply about being a woman in a position of power. It's battling systemic inequities; it's a social justice movement that believes sexism, racism and classism exist and interconnect, and that they should be consistently challenged.

Jessica Valenti

position-of-power racism believe

One of the things I really like about doing work online, and the thing I like about the work I'm doing now, is that I get to meet feminists all the time and I get to read new feminists every day on the blogosphere. And it's really that kind of diversity of thought that informs me more than anything else these days. It's just kind of learning something new all the time. And I kind of love that there's not really a feminist canon; or maybe there is, but it's being changed, that it's a constantly moving canon in the feminist blogosphere. I love that.

Jessica Valenti

diversity feminist moving

Men take what women make and claim it as their own.Men don’t love childrenThey kill them in a heartbeat to hurt a woman

Jessica Valenti

women hurt children

Men in their hearts hate women. It doesn’t matter how much we love them. They hate us”

Jessica Valenti

hate heart men

The Internet is the new public space. And because women are out in public, people don't like that in much the same way that if you're walking down the street you get harassed. I think the same kind of thing happens online, and I think that's why a lot of women are hesitant to put their voice out there.

Jessica Valenti

voice space thinking

I think that blogging and the Internet has completely changed feminism for ever, I think. You know, it used to be, 10 years ago, if you wanted to have a strong, influential voice in the feminist movement, you really needed to be part of this New York/D.C. elite group of feminists, or part of a mainstream feminist organization. And now it's kind of an amazing thing that you can just start a blog and put your voice out there and build your readership.

Jessica Valenti

feminist strong thinking

Present-day American society-whether through pop culture, religion, or institutions-conflates sexuality and morality constantly. Idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women’s morality means that nothing else matters-not what we accomplish, not what we think, not what we care about and work for. Just if/how/whom we have sex with. That’s all.

Jessica Valenti

mean sex thinking

Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them.

Jessica Valenti

independent drug drinking

It's become impossible to enjoy most quality television shows because the hurt or endangered women device is so frequently used.

Jessica Valenti

quality hurt television

Life is messy, and it's okay if you are too! We all screw up, that doesn't have to define us.

Jessica Valenti

messy okay

Yes, the more successful you are—or the stronger, the more opinionated—the less you will be generally liked. All of a sudden people will think you’re too braggy, too loud, too something. But the trade-off is undoubtedly worth it. Power and authenticity are worth it.

Jessica Valenti

careers successful thinking

It seems odd that we continue to worry about the reputations of men who are accused of sexual wrong-doings.

Jessica Valenti

reputation worry men

When are we going to realize that hating other women - no matter how much money they have or how far they've fallen - is just as bad for ourselves as it is for anyone else?

Jessica Valenti

realizing hate matter

I think anyone who wants the social, political and economic equality for women can call themselves a feminist. It does get trickier, of course, when you see anti-woman politicians or pundits claiming the feminist label while working hard to dismantle feminist gains.

Jessica Valenti

feminist political thinking

If your husband is cheating on you, it doesn't mean that you need to get prettier -- it means he's a scumbag.

Jessica Valenti

husband mean cheating

Making women the sexual gatekeepers and telling men they just can't help themselves not only drives home the point that women's sexuality is unnatural, but also sets up a disturbing dynamic in which women are expected to be responsible for men's sexual behavior.

Jessica Valenti

home helping men

Be as pissed off as you want to be. Don’t hold back because you think it’s unladylike or some such nonsense. We shouldn’t be shamed out of our anger. We should be using it. Using it to make change in our own lives, and using it to make change in the lives around us. (I know, I’m cheesy.) So the next time someone calls you emotional, or asks if you’re PMSing, call them on their bullshit.

Jessica Valenti

bullshit emotional thinking

I think we get into very dangerous territory when we start to define who can and cannot be a feminist. It's such a slippery slope, and I have no interest in being the feminist police!

Jessica Valenti

feminist police thinking

If feminism wasn't powerful, if feminism wasn't influential, people wouldn't spend so much time putting it down.

Jessica Valenti

feminism powerful people

Value yourself for what the media doesn't - your intelligence, your street smarts, your ability to play a kick-ass game of pool, whatever. So long as it's not just valuing yourself for your ability to look hot in a bikini and be available to men, it's an improvement.