We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do!" It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that. Albert Ellis More Quotes by Albert Ellis More Quotes From Albert Ellis The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny. Albert Ellis happiness inspirational life People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us. Albert Ellis optimistic inspirational believe There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy. Albert Ellis growth three encouragement You have considerable power to construct self-helping thoughts, feelings and actions as well as to construct self-defeating behaviors. You have the ability, if you use it, to choose healthy instead of unhealthy thinking, feeling and acting. Albert Ellis healthy self thinking Reality is not so much what happens to us; rather, it is how we think about those events that create the reality we experience. In a very real sense, this means that we each create the reality in which we live. Albert Ellis real mean thinking When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: "People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them." I could see how that applied to many of my clients. Albert Ellis views philosophy years By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed with them because, again, I don't care too much what other people think. Albert Ellis caring ideas thinking You mainly feel the way you think. Albert Ellis feels way thinking People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to sorrow, regret, frustration and annoyance - all healthy, negative feelings without which people couldn't exist. But then they add, "I absolutely must succeed and must be loved by significant persons, and if I don't, it's terrible and I'm no good." Those are irrational beliefs. As long as people keep them, they'll be terrified of life and will put themselves down when they get rejected. Albert Ellis frustration regret long You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity. Albert Ellis serenity keys acceptance If human emotions largely result from thinking, then one may appreciably control one's feelings by controlling one's thoughts - or by changing the internalized sentences, or self-talk, with which one largely created the feeling in the first place. Albert Ellis self feelings thinking It is only in your mind that you have to excel, at anything or everything. Of course, it would be very nice to excel at most things. Indeed, we recommend that you try and do your best. But realistically, you are entitled to do the bare minimum to get by. All your accomplishments are just a bonus, something to enjoy, not requirements. You don't have to do anything to prove that you are worthy of existing. Albert Ellis accomplishment nice mind By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit. Albert Ellis failure errors past If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything. Albert Ellis upset hate impossible Thinking rationally is often different from "positive thinking," in that it is a realistic assessment of the situation, with a view towards rectifying the problem if possible. Albert Ellis assessment positive-thinking views To err is human; to forgive people and yourself for poor behavior is to be sensible and realistic. Albert Ellis forgiveness forgiving people Life is indeed difficult, partly because of the real difficulties we must overcome in order to survive, and partly because of our own innate desire to always do better, to overcome new challenges, to self-actualize. Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor. Albert Ellis real self order The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. Albert Ellis destiny responsibility happiness Neurosis is just a high-class word for whining. Albert Ellis neurosis wise class When people change their irrational beliefs to undogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed. Albert Ellis preference belief people
