Writing is simple. First you have to make sure you have plenty of paper... sharp pencils... typewriter ribbon. Then put your belly up to the desk... roll a sheet of paper into the typewriter... and stare at it until beads of blood appear on your forehead.

Jeff MacNelly

Categorized in : Writing Simple Typewriters

Above average intelligence has always run in my family. Ambition, however, has always walked with a limp.

ambition running average

A career is a job that has gone on too long. by Jeff MacNelly

A career is a job that has gone on too long.

careers work jobs

The Opera reminds me of my tax audit. It was in a language I didn’t understand. And it ended in tragedy.

opera language tragedy

The best thing for my creative process is a deadline. by Jeff MacNelly

The best thing for my creative process is a deadline.

best deadline creative process

Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this will come out. We certainly hope it comes out fine; blah, blah.' Cartoonists don't go that way. Our job is to stick out our tongues, to show a big raspberry to whatever pompous jerk happens to be mouthing off.

will job hope way

I thought that through the strip, I could vent my spleen and be funny at the same time. But when it comes to humor, there's no substitute for reality and politicians.

humor time funny reality

I'm looking forward to working for the 'Tribune' because any company that can invest in the Chicago Cubs has a view of the future we cannot begin to comprehend.

looking view looking-forward future

Because of my grey hair and glasses, people think I'm Phil Donahu... by Jeff MacNelly

Because of my grey hair and glasses, people think I'm Phil Donahue.

think glasses hair people

I don't need a lot of attention. I'd much rather have the work be... by Jeff MacNelly

I don't need a lot of attention. I'd much rather have the work be famous than the face be famous.

face need work attention

I look at people, and I like to laugh at them. by Jeff MacNelly

I look at people, and I like to laugh at them.

laugh like look people

If you're a balanced cartoonist, you're not a cartoonist. You def... by Jeff MacNelly

If you're a balanced cartoonist, you're not a cartoonist. You definitely have to have a bias.

definitely you bias balanced

Political cartoonists get hung up on daily deadlines and the front page. The worst thing you can do is open up the newspaper and ask, 'What's funny about this?'

daily you political funny

Everybody's funny-looking. by Jeff MacNelly

Everybody's funny-looking.

everybody

I really do have a self-censorship problem, which isn't the way you should be if you're a cartoonist.

really you problem way

I'm kind of a nerd. A square. And I'm terrible at telling jokes.... by Jeff MacNelly

I'm kind of a nerd. A square. And I'm terrible at telling jokes. I always forget the punch line.

punch always jokes forget

That really has been my message over the years: 'Hey, we're all in this together, so let's laugh about it a little, please.' It adds perspective to an argument if you know where you're coming from.

laugh you perspective together

The problem when you're a cartoonist and you go into the voting booth is that you have your choice of two guys - one would be best for your country, and one would be best for your business.

best you voting business

The best cartoons have no words at all - just the image pops out. by Jeff MacNelly

The best cartoons have no words at all - just the image pops out.

no-words image words best

My father was very methodical about life. He'd always ask me, 'Now, what's your system? What's your schedule like?' I have no big system, no rigid schedule. When he would ask, 'How do you do this? Give it to me step by step,' I'd try to convince him that there were no step-by-steps.

me you life father