Bonnie McFarlane Professions : Comedian Born : March 28, 1973 Browse All Authors Top 28 quotes by Bonnie McFarlane I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should cut my bangs. Bonnie McFarlane cutting guy thinking There's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants. Bonnie McFarlane breasts feminist pay I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby... because he's Jewish and I'm Protestant and the baby's father is Catholic. Bonnie McFarlane husband baby father I saw the head of NOW - National Organization of Women - saying that women still only make 70 cents on the dollar to every man. I'm not sure I'm going to believe that. Women are notoriously bad at math. Bonnie McFarlane math men believe I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you ever heard a guy go, I would never crap in a hot tub. Bonnie McFarlane guy girl thinking If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession. Bonnie McFarlane dentistry enjoy people When I first started doing stand-up, I would be so nervous that I would just binge drink really heavily right before my sets, and as you can imagine, that had its drawbacks. But now I'm a professional, so I pace myself throughout the day. Bonnie McFarlane pace would-be firsts I jog, actually; I go at night. A lot of women, they don't like to go jogging alone at night. They're afraid they might get accosted. I go naked. That way, if there are any perverts around, they think I'm already being chased. Bonnie McFarlane jogging night thinking Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors