Greg Behrendt Professions : Stand-up comedian Born : July 21, 1963 Browse All Authors Top 162 quotes by Greg Behrendt I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie! Greg Behrendt imagine certain prison Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart. Greg Behrendt cheater heart people I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships. Greg Behrendt two book thinking I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh. Greg Behrendt laughing people ideas Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Greg Behrendt breakup break-up opportunity I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs. Greg Behrendt cadbury eggs The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric. Greg Behrendt cool-things getting-older eccentric I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it. Greg Behrendt astute observation way There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show. Greg Behrendt theme people way Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time. Greg Behrendt together two people ..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Greg Behrendt missing love-you may I like the idea that when a guy comes over to the house, I get to say I wrote the book. Greg Behrendt guy book ideas People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks. Greg Behrendt admire hate people Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself Greg Behrendt validation trying looks I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly. Greg Behrendt warts want people So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play. Greg Behrendt band play People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade. Greg Behrendt something-you-love jobs people Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh. Greg Behrendt worship-music rocks people Good enough to tweet, not to say. Greg Behrendt tweet good-enough enough You are not easily forgotten. Greg Behrendt easily-forgotten forgotten Similar Authors Brandon T. Jackson stand-up-comedian Amy Schumer stand-up-comedian Bob Newhart stand-up-comedian Al Murray stand-up-comedian Bernie Mac stand-up-comedian Ben Elton stand-up-comedian All Authors