Quotes by Humor It is the saying of an ancient sage that humor was the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor. Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 7th Earl of Shaftesbury sage tests humor I've got a great sense of humor. Anthony Hopkins sense-of-humor humor I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there. Anthony Jeselnik humor funny school Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn't have that, then she’s mine. Anthony Jeselnik girl humor funny Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me. Anthony Jeselnik humor funny kids My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend. Anthony Jeselnik girlfriend humor funny Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified. Anthony Jeselnik humor funny jesus I have a rare form of body dysmorphia in which I absolutely can't stand how good I look. Anthony Jeselnik humor funny looks I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it. Anthony Jeselnik girlfriend humor funny Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital. Anthony Jeselnik humor funny kids We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting - they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral. Anthony Jeselnik humor brother funny I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says. Anthony Jeselnik humor funny believe My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces. Anthony Jeselnik girlfriend humor funny My great grandmother threw herself in front of a bus. The police tried to say she was committed suicide but the family knew she was just trying to stop civil rights. Anthony Jeselnik humor suicide funny My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out that she has to have both of her breasts removed - if she's ever going to be good at golf. Anthony Jeselnik humor mom funny Every comic went through their Mitch Hedberg phase - the glasses, the hair in the face - and you knew immediately when they were doing it. Anthony Jeselnik glasses humor funny Members rise from CMG (known sometimes in Whitehall as 'Call Me God') to KCMG ('Kindly Call Me God') to .. the GCMG ('God Calls Me God'). Anthony Sampson humor sometimes funny Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. Anton Chekhov doctors humor funny The man who is truly good and wise will bear with dignity whatever fortune sends, and will always make the best of his circumstances. Aristotle humor wise men Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach. Aristotle humor teaching teacher «345678910111213»