Quotes by Humorous Epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband: Here my poor Bridget's corpse doth lie, she is at rest - and so am I! Benjamin Franklin husband humorous lying Mary's mouth cost her nothing for she never opens it but at others' expense. Benjamin Franklin cost humorous mouths Never praise your cider or your horse Benjamin Franklin cider horse humorous The tongue offends and the ears get the cuffing Benjamin Franklin tongue humorous ears The good or ill hap of a good or ill life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife. Benjamin Franklin wife humorous choices He's gone, and forgot nothing but to say farewell to his creditors Benjamin Franklin farewell humorous gone Beer is a wholesome liquor.....it abounds with nourishment Benjamin Rush liquor humorous beer I like the word "indolence." It makes my laziness seem classy. Bernard Williams lazy-man humorous profound We are told that Sin consists in acting contrary to God's commands, but we are also told that God is omnipotent. If He is, nothing contrary to His will can occur; therefore when the sinner disobeys His commands, He must have intended this to happen. Bertrand Russell humorous god funny Democracy is the process by which people choose the man who'll get the blame. Bertrand Russell freedom humorous men I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. Bette Midler humorous memorable funny When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. Bette Midler humorous new-york inspirational Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White jealousy humorous funny Throughout my career, I've always portrayed characters that were humorous, but also weren't afraid to speak their minds, especially when it came to racy or controversial topics. I think this struck a chord with the LGBT community. We both also share a very strong love for animals. When you combine the two, it's a very strong match. Betty White humorous strong character After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't." Bill Cosby humorous god funny You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them. Bill Cosby humorous dog funny Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard. Bill Cosby music humorous funny The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I couldn't identify the formation. Bill Cosby humorous funny sex Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. Bill Maher humorous witty funny The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy. Bill Maher humorous boys funny «23456789101112»