Quotes by Humorous Men are only as loyal as their options. Bill Maher humorous witty funny All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. Bill Maher humorous funny sex Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD. Bill Maher dvds phones humorous What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country. Bill Maher political humorous country I drew pictures for and about the soldiers because I knew what their life was like and understood their gripes. I wanted to make something out of the humorous situations which come up even when you don't think life could be any more miserable. Bill Mauldin humorous soldier thinking [My brother] lived in a dry gulch where the world of socks and shoes became extremely fascinating, and he felt that everyone needs a good pair of socks, and why not limit his gift giving to something that everybody needs? He thought that there was something humorous about it. So he gives socks. Bill Murray shoes humorous brother The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe. Bill Murray army humorous feet A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. Bill Vaughan freedom humorous funny Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid! Bill Watterson humorous running water The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present. Bill Watterson future humorous funny Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em? Bill Watterson guy humorous thinking I was able to read poets that were - allowed me to be humorous without being silly. Billy Collins able humorous silly I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly humorous witty funny I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow. Billy Connolly mad disease humorous Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar. Billy Crystal humorous funny america And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts... Save us all from arrogant men, and all the causes they're for. Billy Joel humorous men people C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off. Bjarne Stroustrup humorous witty funny If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists. Blaise Pascal humorous god funny Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal. Bob Costas quirky humorous should-have You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope happy-birthday humorous funny «345678910111213»