1. A man in tattoos is like a child who has painted himself, you know, he is like a student's desk Fast food is indigestion, I want to make myself hara-kiri, this is a suicide of the ass, sat on the toilet with a kamikaze cry Which girl to choose heaven, hell, aida If you are a Siamese twin with two heads, then you are like a dragon. And the ordinary twins are arguing which one of them is real. I'm not afraid of men because I have pepper spray Your wife is growing a beard let her buy a bike You are tall, you can see the whole city So high where is your head there is rarefied air Inflation will turn us into dreamers, and the store into an art museum Your boobs and ass can write poetry forever On the pedestal of my love, your boobs and ass You're sad, apply ice You don't have a girlfriend, your wallet needs a marauder You need a girl, you need a subway pocket Someone gets out of the subway at rush hour pregnant Throw your wife's paycheck like a Frisbee Optimism in our world is optimism in hell Apartments are made for dwarfs You don't have a girlfriend, you don't have a boss, you're single anarchist, get married and die a slave Marriage is a kamasutra with your budget The girl is a stripper, you throw money at her and she undresses Most kung fu professions have excuses and laziness meditation The woman endures then removes the safety of the gun and begins to threaten You are still alive, the jokes on you are not over yet You quarrel with your wife, how often do you go out on the tatami In old age without teeth like a duck with a toy jaw You are a careerist, a slave enthusiast, we need such Shave bald and varnish Women are pimps, they even have fur coats like them My friend played snowballs with friends, how could he know that there were stones You masturbate your belly button when you watch a cooking channel, your stomach is excited I hate telling jokes to those who are hard of hearing with each repetition the joke seems dumber and dumber, and then I have to explain the joke Girls often refuse, and your penis is depressed, such a penis is a philosopher Mercantile guy says he crashed his rich girl's car, sun, I crashed your sexy babe You brought one flower into the house, then another and another, and you are in the jungle. bdsm special forces masks I love how special forces take pictures with a captured trophy When they ask you to fix something, you say oh, I'm a blonde in these matters, a very glamorous blonde In the Kazakh language auezhay means airport is a hint auezhay how are you from here There is a village of matai in Kazakhstan, matai from here In the kama sutra you fold like origami You go to the gym, you go to the finish They teach you how to save light, like a bat that has lost the habit of light and the wife of the earl budget sucked Smart people have muscular convolutions from the stupidity of people, because they take everything into account 2. If your testosterone level is off scale, then you watch porn, if it’s low, then the culinary channel is porn for the stomach, in short, cooking is erotic In modern cinema, they pause in lines for a second more, or less, as if you are looking at actors from cheap porn You think that your son will be a doctor or a lawyer, but he says dad I'm a dancer Hypocrisy is when you know how to work with your tongue to bring their ego to anal orgasm Alco surfing is when you're a drunken man aggressively twerking to sad music, it's like ninjutsu when you are transferred to another dimension and you don't understand what you're doing People without complexes drunk without alcohol If you are henpecked, then your balls are in the pawnshop A man should remain like a man, not a woman, he should cause slight vomiting When I see dwarfs in my head circus music, you like dwarf girls with high demands, but you are a pedophile. You like nymphomaniacs, but you're a zoophile, she's in heat. You're married, what's your name on your dog collar? Kitty, baby, zay, there is a guilt shocker on your collar. Love is when you fall into a crowd of fans and you are torn into atoms, like that, and I have his skull. When fans throw marriage contracts and positive pregnancy tests onto the stage, you're like, it's not me, and you leave the country. I remember riding the subway with a lady with a huge ass, she stood with her back to me and I just sat down on a chair on her ass When you are thirty, they say bala from Kazakh means child, baby, to belittle you, it’s scary to think that in your understanding an elderly person Even the computer starts behaving like a human, fuck everything, system crash Before he died, he said wake me up in five minutes. The world is changing, and people are surprised as if they were just thawed in a piece of ice, how many centuries have you slept The best friend is a bonsai tree, it will always listen and bloom if you start complaining about life, it will start to rot When someone says that he talks a lot, works a lot with his mouth, and someone jumps out: what makes his mouth hurt When testosterone drops, you turn into a bitch. Strange feeling when you get something you feel like a fool Life is when you realize that you are in heavenly hell Testosterone enhances the beauty of women You want to write, your legs are taken away, you see the light at the end of the tunnel 3. You don't have a girlfriend, you don't have a BDSM mistress Even your penis will be sued In marriage it's like trick or treat Inflation is when you can look at girls, but you can’t touch Inflation is bodybuilding endurance Inflation is a number phobia Inflation is useless while people are smacking smack I don't talk to other guys call each other handsome I'm afraid What politicians say is fantasy Some guys are offended that they cannot get married, they are offended that they are not allowed into the scam Marriage is like a mine, so you sat down, but you can’t get up, there will be an alimony explosion Who flew into marriage is another big question People have been living together for 35 years and in a friend they realize that you do not match the color of the tile and passion passes. As inflation rises, more holy virgins will go to heaven Two women at the table is a quarrel, so they write in the dream book (okay, I made it up) A lot of women in the apartment will break your bladder because they even get sad there If you are in a quarrel, you say yes to a girl, tell me nasty things If you have a rich wife, you are like a Chihuahua in your purse. You meet a girl and you have fears in your head whether she has a knife shocker pepper spray herpis loan madness penis spender harem can be a witch or all at once Single people have a harem that's sex toys in the closet Fractured arm from aggressive masturbation get out get out loneliness Laziness is a hangover is a drunken feeling At first, parents love, but if you continue to live with them, they wish you death. Women's gossip is political technology against men A man who has a cool sex doll will save a lot of money and nerves People who are out of wedlock are much younger Two wifes? Why the second drill in the head The pocket between the legs of the girls is so wide, you can show tours there How much do I earn even in New York, homeless people get more than me When I told my girlfriend how much I earn on a date, she earned herself a hernia from laughter, a few cubes on her stomach and an orgasm, then she was given a sniff of ammonia so that she would come to her senses Life is an empty pool and everyone shits all and sundry and when it fills up fate is such a jump, you take a cap of goggles for swimming an inflatable toy and swim in the memories of your life, people continue to shit, and then fate drinks two liters of laxative and pours a fountain of shit, and everyone thinks that you are to blame You have an inner core - this is the middle finger inside you directed at the holy society In marriage, a pimp is the one who gets paid Testosterone is a hairy bikini hairy thong and eyebrows grow so that you get a heart on your hands fur gloves Alphonse... Is the house free? When women brag about their husbands like an exhibition of tame dogs, castrated henpecked labotomies Life is a cruel comedy where you are mostly dumb Friendship is when you are a waiter The man has a vagina, it is in the back of the head, and the wife puts on a strap-on and fries this hole every night Nobody is turned on by your salary From bad luck in love, men buy themselves mastrubators because a spark runs between them A sex doll is cool if the demon doesn't move into it: buy me a fur coat, and a house and a jeep Hairy people do not have a hair cutter, they are protected by their own ozone layer. Evolution has turned towards fat rich people who need to lubricate the corners with Vaseline to climb through the door Fatties fuck cracks grow someday they'll fall on me The metal detector could not miss me in any way, I say this is my erection from fear No one dances to the toy music (Kazakh music) on soberware (Kazakh music) there is not even a dance rule, this is dancing without rules Clits are big you open a gift and there is a bazooka looking at you and they make you give a blowjob to the clitoris, if you are rich you are the lord of the clitoris they all stand up when you enter the room and these bazookas are ready to cum in your honor. No, I have not met such girls. You see the girl of your dreams, she sees a maniac If you are an innovator, then you are like a volleyball, only not to us, not to us, because you make them work. If they troll, then a football one, if they get it, then a basketball one, if it is in demand, then a rugby ball The girl laughs out loud on a date, I tell her quieter, quieter, turn on the vibration mode The girl's pussy is a nightclub in which face control does not let all people in Loneliness is terabytes of porn, it's the only girl available Some are born with two penises, it's cool if you have fifteen penises, you have enough sex with a girl all night, you are like, uh, milk me and you lie like a sacred cow of India, sperm can be sold in a sperm bank, the wife will turn on the milking machine, so you can capture peace, overtake Genghis Khan I have a slight astigmatism, this eye I call naughty Once I drank a whole pack of sedatives I wanted to die, and you know that I did not calm down in peace Viagra to recharge the hard drive Airplane neck pillow, looks like a hernia pillow or toilet seat A shy bearded man saw a beautiful girl winding a beard curl around her finger 4. Thought that I slapped the beauty on the pope, in fact, the fat woman on the belly 2. I have a joke humor from the word creepy 3. At the beginning, the penis rises when a woman enters, and with age, sadly nods. 4. I ride a limousine every day, only there is not enough space on this bus. 5. A lot of people are dumb after a lobotomy. 6. Alcoholism is sleepwalking 7. Depression is when even a prostitute refuses you 8. They thought that I had sex every day, but I just watch porn 9. Bones are like chips. 10. You need a ticket to meet a girl. 11. Gemini is like a double-barreled shotgun. 12. Beep beep beep is mats beep beep beep mats with sound and the sound of cardiac arrest. 13. Deputies and friends feed them like pigeons, they fly more and more when the bread runs out, they scatter. 14. Black Friday why is it, the seller just likes to watch the fights they place their bets on. 15. Five years in a rocking chair the effect of big muscles lasts five minutes for five years. 16. I've been doing a press for two years, a second cube appeared. 17. You don't have a girlfriend, you don't have a BDSM mistress 18. Even your penis will be sued 19. Marriage is like trick or treat. 20. Inflation is when you can look at girls, but you can’t touch 21. Inflation is endurance bodybuilding 22. Inflation is number phobia 23. Inflation is useless as long as people are smacking smack 24. I don't talk to other guys call each other handsome I'm afraid 25. What politicians say is fantasy 26. Some guys are offended that they cannot get married, they are offended that they are not allowed into the scam 27. Marriage is like a mine, so you sat down, but you can’t get up, there will be an alimony explosion 28. Who flew into marriage is another big question. People have been living together for 35 years and in a friend they realize that you do not match the color of the tile and passion passes. As inflation rises, more holy virgins will go to heaven Two women at the table is a quarrel, so they write in the dream book (okay, I made it up) A lot of women in the apartment will break your bladder because they even get sad there If you are in a quarrel, you say yes to a girl, tell me nasty things If you have a rich wife, you are like a Chihuahua in your purse. You meet a girl and you have fears in your head whether she has a knife shocker pepper spray herpis loan madness penis spender harem can be a witch or all at once Single people have a harem that's sex toys in the closet Fractured arm from aggressive masturbation get out get out loneliness Laziness is a hangover is a drunken feeling At first, parents love, but if you continue to live with them, they wish you death. Women's gossip is political technology against men A man who has a cool sex doll will save a lot of money and nerves People who are out of wedlock are much younger Two wifes? Why the second drill in the head The pocket between the legs of the girls is so wide, you can show tours there How much do I earn even in New York, homeless people get more than me When I told my girlfriend how much I earn on a date, she earned herself a hernia from laughter, a few cubes on her stomach and an orgasm, then she was given a sniff of ammonia so that she would come to her senses Life is an empty pool and everyone shits all and sundry and when it fills up fate is such a jump, you take a cap of goggles for swimming an inflatable toy and swim in the memories of your life, people continue to shit, and then fate drinks two liters of laxative and pours a fountain of shit, and everyone thinks that you are to blame You have an inner core - this is the middle finger inside you directed at the holy society 5. Poems You are a sparkling gem of aesthetics, my feelings call you with all my heart, levitation with delight, my subconscious is filled with you, my sincerity poeticizes you, the most valuable gift in all eternity, with every second your significance increases, the ideal goddess of my dreams, a special radiance of feelings, each a note of nerves is a pulsation of passion, intuition deifies your image, your kisses are like divine nectar, the highest poetry of aesthetics, your beauty creates a mental connection with you, my vision disdains everything except you alone, and every second is an epic nostalgia of romance, my heart is a safe that keeps memories of you like treasures, the most necessary notes of love, from your beauty, the multifaceted charm of charisma in your face, the energy of life consists of love for you. Penis burn from excitement, divine aesthetics, high art, tearfully beautiful nymph, infinitely deep passion, and growl of lust from hunger, you are perfection from billions of dreams, timeless love of sincerity, like birds singing on a violin, sing about love for you, in the infinite cosmos consisting of molecules of love for you, and all dimensions in it are the energy of love, and the times of all epochs idolize you, eternity is faithful to you, deep impregnation with love, the heart beats tremblingly from love, eternal love, the hot heat of passion that struck down the imagination, an ideal masterpiece the universe, the irresistible magnetism of sexuality, the dope of sweet charms, in the magic of seduction, the libido sings of your beauty, my whole being is drawn to you. I know your universe of beauty. Aphorisms Different worldviews deepen the universe, an unstable dimension of the human world, a changeable climate of thinking, like a thermometer of emotions, the ecology of fate is unstable, to be sober from the illusions of dreams, and sincerity to tears, a whisper of intuition, we build reality from mirages, an endless abundance of revelations in the blood vessels of truth, like roots that feed on the energy of eternity, the energy of philosophy in a quantum leap of insight, the cyclical rhythm of life, like a philosophical melody of life, a philosophical masterpiece of being, philosophical romance of infinity, we see the horizons of life, but eternity in this dimension, refined thoughts of intuition, lead to the deep secrets of the universe , in insight we feel the highest dimension of thinking, we see only a fragment of life, a piece of reality in a distorting mirror of vice. 2. Loneliness is a way out of the matrix of karma. The monotonous banality of selfishness, the fatal romance of fearlessness. Modern love is when you rent a place in the heart like in a motel, the love of a woman is on a paid basis. jokes Are you still growing? I'll soon need binoculars to see your face Hike to a prostitute in a crisis, credit, installments, discounts 3. After a hard day, you feel like you're a used condom. 4. The hierarchy of egoism creates a gap and lack of unity in society, castes are fragmented into clans. The hierarchy shows that the more a person earns, the brighter the optimism, the less, the gloomier the pessimism and the bottom of reality. The blinding light of illusions of hedonism, depravity of optimism, morally corrupts the brain. Author: Musin Almat Zhumabekovich