A man cannot learn to be wise any more than he can learn to be handsome. Josh Billings More Quotes by Josh Billings More Quotes From Josh Billings Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other. Josh Billings wrinkleshabitmen It iz comparitively eazy tew repent ov the sins that we hav committed, but tew repent ov thoze which we intend to commit, is asking tew mutch ov enny man, now days. Josh Billings sinaskingmen It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall, but to lie there and grunt is. Josh Billings menlyingfall Faith is the soul riding at anchor. Josh Billings ridinganchorssoul It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. Josh Billings fruit-juicesquashfall The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. Josh Billings medicinegoutlord Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them. Josh Billings jealoushusbandthinking Sekts and creeds ov religion, are like pocket compesses, good enuff tu pinte out the direction, but the nearer the pole yu git thewuss tha wurk. Josh Billings pocketscreeds As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither. Josh Billings sideswantbelieve If animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do. Josh Billings ridiculousreasonanimal If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved. Josh Billings deceitproblemwould-be One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. Josh Billings prideairmen It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so. Josh Billings learningtroublescience Music wasn't made to make us wise, but better natured. Josh Billings wisemade Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can't bear to have anyone else one. Josh Billings foolhypocrisybears The dog that will follow everbody ain't worth a curse. Josh Billings cursedog The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other. Josh Billings kinddogmen Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with. Josh Billings selfishnesswould-beworld It's not ignorance does so much damage; it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so. Josh Billings damageignorancedoe Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. Josh Billings letting-gotailsadvice
