A man has to define himself as a breadwinner, as opposed to thinking that well, women used to be caregivers who also wanted to have careers; men have always had careers, so why shouldn't they also want much more family time? Anne-Marie Slaughter More Quotes by Anne-Marie Slaughter More Quotes From Anne-Marie Slaughter Having it all means having the same work and family choices that men do. It doesn't mean having everything that you want. No one has that. Anne-Marie Slaughter choices men mean I’d been part, albeit unwillingly, of making millions of women feel that they are to blame if they cannot manage to rise up the ladder as fast as men and also have a family and an active home life (and be thin and beautiful to boot). Anne-Marie Slaughter home beautiful men Only when women wield power in significant numbers will we create a society that genuinely works for all women … that will be a society that works for everyone. Anne-Marie Slaughter significant-numbers significant numbers What mothers need, as well as fathers, spouses, and the children of aging parents, is an entire national infrastructure of care, every bit as important as the physical infrastructure of roads, bridges, tunnels, broadband, parks and public works. Anne-Marie Slaughter mother father children The societies that work build an infrastructure of care Anne-Marie Slaughter infrastructure wells care Biological sex should not determine what we are capable of, what we aspire to, what we do in our life. Anne-Marie Slaughter determine should sex Young men keep telling me they don't 'have it all' either. And they may have a point. But if you define 'having it all' as the opportunity to have a successful career and a family, I'd say this. When a man tells his coworkers he's going to have a child, no one asks him how he'll manage or if he'll be coming back to work. Anne-Marie Slaughter successful opportunity children In the end, no matter how much you love your work, your work will not love you back. Anne-Marie Slaughter ends matter love-you If we're going to have better choices for women, we've got to have better choices for men. Anne-Marie Slaughter choices ifs men Believe it or not, we will actually be better and happier workers if we are allowed to be better parents. We might even rediscover our capacity for fun. Anne-Marie Slaughter parent fun believe I see much less of an ambition gap and much more of a workplace and society that isn't allowing us to use the talent that is multiplied well beyond this room ... There are millions of women out there who ... need more than, Honey, you can do it if you try hard enough. Anne-Marie Slaughter powerful ambition trying There's a tremendous loss of talent to businesses who cannot make room for their employees to attend to family responsibilities. It really amounts to corporate waste: They hire really talented women and then lose them because they can't find ways to keep them productive and content the minute they can't "lean in." Anne-Marie Slaughter responsibility loss way Over my lifetime, women have demonstrated repeatedly that they can do anything that men can do, while still managing traditional women's work at the same time. But the same expansion of roles has not been available to men. Anne-Marie Slaughter expansion roles men It was interesting that feminists of my generation told me: You are discouraging younger women; you are confirming stereotypes of women; you are opening a door, initiating a debate, that will harm our movement. And my point was: We are already having this debate, especially in the younger generation. Anne-Marie Slaughter feminist doors interesting Do not vote for Hillary [Clinton] because she is a woman. Ask yourself, who has done more for women so far and who will do more for women in the future - and then make your choice. Anne-Marie Slaughter vote choices done We should be proud of our country when we have done something to be proud of, when we have lived up to our own standards. But the flip side of genuine pride is being able to recognize when we have fallen short, and to hold ourselves to account. Anne-Marie Slaughter proud pride country The American work environment has to change, not the women. We should be recognizing that what women are not fitting into is a very narrow, male-dominated workplace of the 1950s. Anne-Marie Slaughter males workplace environment When I used to teach civil procedure as a law professor, I would begin the year by telling my students that “civil procedure is the etiquette of ritualized battle.” The phrase, which did not originate with me, captured the point that peaceful, developed societies resolve disputes by law rather than by force. Anne-Marie Slaughter peaceful law years Women still can't have it all. Anne-Marie Slaughter stills Motherhood is a greater predictor of wage inequality than gender is. It's enormous. Anne-Marie Slaughter gender enormous motherhood