All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs. Marshall B. Rosenberg More Quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg More Quotes From Marshall B. Rosenberg When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. Marshall B. Rosenberg compassion people needs Understanding and connection can transcend conflict. Marshall B. Rosenberg connections communication understanding Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill. Marshall B. Rosenberg punishment communication self-esteem In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief. Marshall B. Rosenberg empathy communication opportunity I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing. Marshall B. Rosenberg training way needs Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing Marshall B. Rosenberg communication hate blessing I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication motivation believe We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication hatred self Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges. Marshall B. Rosenberg punishment privilege communication When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings. Marshall B. Rosenberg slave feelings needs We are responsible for what we hear other people say and for how we act. Marshall B. Rosenberg responsible communication people Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication criticism responsibility Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs Marshall B. Rosenberg communication expression needs In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication want needs Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it. Marshall B. Rosenberg evaluation communication people As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing the habits of a lifetime. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication speak heart Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Marshall B. Rosenberg strong offering giving The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication numbers two If you have an image of someone cutting off a relationship, it's the cutting off that will lead to your suffering. If you see the action as their need being expressed, then the message is within them, not you. Any interpretation you put onto another person's message (such as passive-aggressive, withholding, etc.), you will pay for because of how you took it. Marshall B. Rosenberg cutting communication suffering Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person. Marshall B. Rosenberg training communication thinking
