And if I have to die trying, I will get out of here. Lauren DeStefano More Quotes by Lauren DeStefano More Quotes From Lauren DeStefano I see an ocean that’s spilled out of a wineglass, its body clear and sparkling and folding over itself. I see a ribbon of sand. Lauren DeStefano ribbons ocean body There is a silence so great that I can hear the ice crystals cracking and falling from eyelashes of girls who will never blink again. Lauren DeStefano eyelashes girl fall She’s a commodity in a sea of broken girls. Lauren DeStefano girl broken sea There’s a limit to how much living can be done in a life without freedom. Lauren DeStefano limits done We were his disposable things. Brought to him like cattle. Stripped of what made us sisters or daughters or children. There was nothing that he could take from us—our genes, our bones, our wombs—that would ever satisfy him. There was no other way that we would be free. Lauren DeStefano daughter would-be children He sits next to me, careful to avoid my hair that's splayed out around my head like blood. A bullet to the forehead, boom, blond waves everywhere. Lauren DeStefano bullets hair blood I wanted so badly to tell him, but something about that entire night seemed so beautiful, so bizarre, that I didn't trust it with my secrets. Lauren DeStefano secret beautiful night It was a terrible decision, and I confess I'd make it again. Lauren DeStefano terrible decision We figure out what death means when we're born, practically, and we live our whole lives in some kind of weird denial about it. Lauren DeStefano denial kind mean Things will get worse before they get better. Lauren DeStefano things-will-get-better get-better We destroy things with our curiosity. We shatter with our best intentions Lauren DeStefano best-intentions intention curiosity He looks at me, and I don't know what he sees. I used to think it was Rose. But she's not here with us now, in this room. It's just him and me, and the books. I feel like our lives are in those books. I feel like all the words on the pages are for us. Lauren DeStefano rose book thinking Vaughn is talking about the heat, and his voice is so excited that it breaks into whispers at times. He loves his madness the way a bird loves the sky. Lauren DeStefano voice sky talking I don't dare touch her. Loss is a knowledge I'm sorry to have. Perhaps the only thing worse than experiencing it, is watching it replay anew in someone else--all the awful stages picking up like a chorus that has to be sung. Lauren DeStefano awful sorry loss When we're alive, life consumes us. But when we die, all of the color and the motion is gone so quickly, it's as though it can no longer stand to be wasted on us. Lauren DeStefano alive color gone I nod like I'm not at all unnerved by this new cold side to him. Not cruel like his father. Not warm like the husband who sought me out on quiet nights. Something in between. This Linden has never woven his fingers through mine, never chosen me from a line of weary Gathered girls, never said he loved me in a myriad of coloured lights. We are nothing to each other. Lauren DeStefano husband girl father Someday I'll tell you all of it," I say. "I'd like that," he says. "No," I say. "I promise you won't. Lauren DeStefano i-promise someday promise Eventually I realize that I am holding on to him just as tightly as he holds on to me. And here we are: two small dying things, as the world ends around us like falling autumn leaves. Lauren DeStefano autumn love fall Perhaps... you love too fiercely. Lauren DeStefano The thing about hope is that it doesn't go away even when it serves no purpose. Lauren DeStefano going-away purpose
