And it’s not like I’ve never jacked off. I’m fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he doesn’t is lying. That would be like having the coolest video game ever and never playing it. No one’s that stupid. Michael Thomas Ford More Quotes by Michael Thomas Ford More Quotes From Michael Thomas Ford I'm still kind of a mess. But I think we all are. No one's got it all together. I don't think you ever do get it totally together. Probably if you did manage to do it you'd spontaneously combust. I think that's a law of nature. If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else. Michael Thomas Ford law perfect thinking How come someone always saves the people who try to kill themselves and then makes them tell everyone how sorry they are for ruining their evening? I keep feeling like everyone wants me to apologize for something. but I'm not going to. I don't have anything to apologize for. They're the ones who screwed everything up. Not me. I didn't ask to be saved. Michael Thomas Ford sorry feelings people Personally, I think they killed the bear because they were afraid of it. That s what people do, kill the things they re afraid of. Michael Thomas Ford bears people thinking Anyone can be crazy. That's usually just because there's something screwed up in your wiring, you know? But suicide is a whole different thing. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to want to just wipe yourself out? Michael Thomas Ford crazy hate suicide I believe that God—if he exists at all—is what we want him to be. The true God is unknowable, and so we dress him up in costumes that make him visible to us. Then we come up with a lot of very silly rules that we attribute to him and tell everyone if they don't follow those rules, they can't be part of the gang. Michael Thomas Ford dresses silly believe When people hurt us, the best thing to do isn’t to ask why they did it but to remind ourselves that it wasn’t our fault. Michael Thomas Ford faults hurt people No one in France cares if you tried to kill yourself. In fact, I think they like you better because you're all tragic. Michael Thomas Ford france care thinking So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls. Michael Thomas Ford gay girl mean I'm tired of people thinking they're doing me favours. Michael Thomas Ford tired people thinking Once you realise there's nothing to be afraid of when you die, there's nothing else to worry about. Michael Thomas Ford realising dies worry Let me tell something, seeing your name and psychiatric ward on the same piece of paper isn't the best way to start your day. Michael Thomas Ford pieces paper names I swear, sometimes it feels like there's this monkey in my head who runs around turning the dials and changing channels on me. One minute I'm sitting around eating chocolate chip cookies and then all of a sudden I'm thinking about bears. Michael Thomas Ford chocolate running thinking It's like whoever sits up ther in Heaven had this big bag of really crappy stuff, and once or twice a day she or he reaches in and sprinkles a little bit of it over the world and it makes everything go crazy, like fairy dust that's past its expiration date. Michael Thomas Ford crazy dust past Here’s what I think. One, people should figure out that if they go around bothering bears, chances are they’re going to end up bear snacks. Second, people suck. Michael Thomas Ford snacks people thinking That sounds so weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you. But killing someone is wrong, and I don't think suicide is. It's my life, right? I should be able to end it if I want to. I don't think it's a sin. Michael Thomas Ford killing-someone suicide thinking If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else. Michael Thomas Ford suicide-note ruins perfect That's what people do. Kill the things they're afraid of. Michael Thomas Ford people I know all about dreams that make you want to scream. Michael Thomas Ford scream dream want I knew people were talking, but I wasn't listening. I wasn't interested in anything anyone had to say. Michael Thomas Ford listening talking people That sounds weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you. Michael Thomas Ford murder like-you sound
