And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k. Jon Stewart More Quotes by Jon Stewart More Quotes From Jon Stewart Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid. Jon Stewart earth-dayableyears Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition? Jon Stewart marijuanalisteningdark The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church. Jon Stewart baptistschickenschurch When Henry Hill [in Goodfellas] got arrested for the first time and Robert DeNiro met him at the courthouse and Henry Hill was really upset, 'cause he thought Robert DeNiro would be really mad at him. And DeNiro comes up to him and he gives him a $100 and he goes, "You got pinched. We all get pinched, but you did it right, you didn't say nothing." Jon Stewart upsetmadgiving What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone. Jon Stewart governmentlightsorry The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. Jon Stewart internet-usersnetworkingworld Arnold Schwarzenegger campaigned in New York this week, where he stepped up his controversial goal of helping children.... It's all summed up in his campaign slogan, 'Arnold Schwarzenegger: Cutting violence in half with a laser-guided chain gun across a charred landscape - for the children.' Jon Stewart cuttingnew-yorkchildren Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military Alliance Meeting.' Of course, these people are no longer Iraqi, they have no military, and there is no alliance. But they did have a meeting. Jon Stewart militarygatheringpeople It's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights... Jon Stewart gayrightspeople Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack Obama and all things Democratic, to advance its ultimate objective of creating a deliberately misinformed body politic whose fear, anger, mistrust, and discontent is the manna upon which it sustains its parasitic succubus-like existence. Jon Stewart creatingbodyfoxes It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else. You judge each one based on its own veracity and intelligence and all of that. Jon Stewart argumentjudgingpeople People are very sophisticated consumers of information, and they're pulling all different things. Jon Stewart informationdifferentpeople [John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show. Jon Stewart believeyearsthinking That, what we're really seeing in Iraq is not a terrible war, but in fact, just the media's portrayal of it. Jon Stewart iraqmediawar If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with a hundred million dollars. Jon Stewart investingdollarsadvice A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking. Jon Stewart guypeoplethinking I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, "I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness." Jon Stewart rockssadnessjobs If you want, you can try and get a broader perspective, or you can find people who are absolutely out of their minds, or find people that are doing incredibly complex and interesting and urgent journalism. And the same goes for our show. It's a prism into people's own ideologies, when they watch our program. This is just our take. Jon Stewart perspectivepeopleinteresting You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting reactions on our show. People are constantly saying, "I love your-your show is so funny, until you made a joke about global warming, which is a serious issue, and I can't believe you did that. And I am never watching your show again." Jon Stewart love-youbelievethinking [John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, "I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud," all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about. Jon Stewart proudhonortalking
