And when they start talking, and they always do, you find that each of them has a story they want to tell. Everyone, no matter how old or young, has some lesson they want to teach. And I sit there and listen and learn all about life from people who have no idea how to live it.

Paul Neilan

Categorized in : Ideas People Talking

I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear.

fruit hate thinking

The world is your oyster... ...too bad you're allergic to shellfi... by Paul Neilan

The world is your oyster... ...too bad you're allergic to shellfish.

allergic oysters world

It’s like someone who prays every night saying God’s a good listener. Just because you’re talking to us doesn’t mean we’re listening. With me and God, you never really know.

talking night mean

If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right... by Paul Neilan

If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right.

stealing ifs want

at first I thought you were just using me" she said "I definitely am." I just wasn't sure for what. "Asshole!" she said, and punched me in the side. And she laughed as my kidney began to hemorrhage. That's the beauty of honesty. Everyones so unused to hearing it they just assume you're kidding, and you get to feel very good and forthcoming without suffering any consequences except for traces of blood in your urine for the next day or two.

honesty two blood

Anybody can make something up and have it sound believable. The hard part is remembering all the lies you've told, and all the people you've told them to, and then living the lies that have become your life.

sound lying people

Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to you... by Paul Neilan

Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.

tacky lying people

In the long term everyone traffics in foregone conclusions, and in the short term they just get drunk. This is the way it has always been. Some half-assed ambiguity masquerading as mystery is all anybody's really looking for.

drunk half long

But really it’s condescending and patronizing not to make fun of someone because they’re old or stupid or crippled or morbidly obese. Banged up people don’t want your pity. They just want to be treated like everyone else. Mockery, when done without prejudice or discretion, can be a form of respect. It’s the closest we’ll ever come to true equality.

stupid fun people

Mockery when done without prejudice or discretion, can be a form of respect. It's the closest we'll ever come to true equality.

prejudice form done

There comes a time in every man's life when he wakes up drunk on the toilet and begins to doubt the choices he has made. and when that time comes at least twice a day, every day. something needs to be done.

drunk choices men

If Tolstoy were alive today and working at Panopticon Insurance, he'd say that all insurance companies are the same, then throw himself through an eighteenth story window and plunge to his death in a hail of glass and shattered dignity" (70).

glasses alive stories

Cowardice, when done correctly, can be its own kind of bravery. by Paul Neilan

Cowardice, when done correctly, can be its own kind of bravery.

kind done bravery