been there done that, bought the t-shirt" Chapter 2 by Jeff Lindsay

been there done that, bought the t-shirt" Chapter 2

Jeff Lindsay

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Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children?

crazy sleep children

Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting. by Jeff Lindsay

Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.

obligation interesting

I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book

situation instruction book

I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

party talking ideas

No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it ins... by Jeff Lindsay

No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.

tricks bigs blood

Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.

stupid mind people

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you... by Jeff Lindsay

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.

language use dirty

Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dress... by Jeff Lindsay

Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.

afternoon showers chance

Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake.

fake emotional real

Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness? by Jeff Lindsay

Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness?

easier accepting insanity

...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.

loyalty together brain

The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.

accomplishment keys happy-life

I did not like this feeling of having feelings. by Jeff Lindsay

I did not like this feeling of having feelings.

feelings

The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it? by Jeff Lindsay

The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it?

bad-times walks mind

A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me. by Jeff Lindsay

A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.

phony like-me men

I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.

pushing-it tongue heart

Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation.

special believe people

First things first has always been my motto, mostly because it makes absolutely no sense - after all, if first things were second or third, they wouldn't be first things, would they? Still, cliches exist to comfort the feeble minded, not to provide any actual meaning.

cliche comfort firsts

I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.

black-and-white believe thinking

What a terrible thing life can be. by Jeff Lindsay

What a terrible thing life can be.

terrible-things terrible