Being a team player should not imply a demand for simple obedience and conformity. Alfie Kohn More Quotes by Alfie Kohn More Quotes From Alfie Kohn To be well-educated is to have the desire as well as the means to make sure that learning never ends. Alfie Kohn ends desire mean How we feel about our kids isn't as important as how they experience those feelings and how they regard the way we treat them. Alfie Kohn important feelings kids Punishments erode relationships and moral growth. Alfie Kohn moral-growth punishment erode A preoccupation with achievement is not only different from, but often detrimental to, a focus on learning. Thoughts and emotions while performing an action are more important in determining subsequent engagement than the actual outcome of that action. Alfie Kohn achievement focus important Sometimes we have to put our foot down, ... but before we deliberately make children unhappy in order to get them to get into the car, or to do their homework or whatever, we need to weigh whether what we're doing to make it happen is worth the possible strain on our relationship with them. Alfie Kohn feet order children Punishment and reward proceed from basically the same psychological model, one that conceives of motivation as nothing more than the manipulation of behavior. Alfie Kohn punishment rewards motivation The value of a book about dealing with children is inversely proportional to the number of times it contains the word behavior. Alfie Kohn numbers book children Students should not only be trained to live in a democracy when they grow up; they should have the chance to live in one today. Alfie Kohn growing-up democracy should-have Do rewards motivate people? Absolutely. They motivate people to get rewards. Alfie Kohn intelligence education people Strip away all the assumptions about what competition is supposed to do, all the claims in its behalf that we accept and repeat reflexively. What you have left is the essence of the concept: mutually exclusive goal attainment (MEGA). One person succeeds only if another does not. From this uncluttered perspective, it seems clear right away that something is drastically wrong with such an arrangement. How can we do our best when we are spending our energies trying to make others lose--and fearing that they will make us lose? Alfie Kohn perspective essence goal Grades are a subjective rating masquerading as an objective evaluation. Alfie Kohn rating evaluation grades The overwhelming number of teachers ...are unable to name or describe a theory of learning that underlies what they do. Alfie Kohn learning teaching teacher You have to give them unconditional love. They need to know that even if they screw up, you love them. You don't want them to grow up and resent you or, even worse, parent the way you parented them. Alfie Kohn resent-you growing-up unconditional-love When test scores go up, we should worry, because of how poor a measure they are of what matters, and what you typically sacrifice in a desperate effort to raise scores. Alfie Kohn sacrifice what-matters school What is wrong with encouraging students to put "how well they're doing" ahead of "what they're doing." An impressive and growing body of research suggests that this emphasis (1) undermines students' interest in learning, (2) makes failure seem overwhelming, (3) leads students to avoid challenging themselves, (4) reduces the quality of learning, and (5) invites students to think about how smart they are instead of how hard they tried. Alfie Kohn smart challenges thinking Independence is useful, but caring attitudes and behaviors shrivel up in a culture where each person is responsible only for himself. Alfie Kohn independence caring attitude In some suburban schools, the curriculum is chock-full of rigorous A.P. courses and the parking lot glitters with pricey SUVs, but one doesn't have to look hard to find students who are starving themselves, cutting themselves, or medicating themselves, as well students who are taking out their frustrations on those who sit lower on the social food chain. Alfie Kohn frustration cutting school Most of us would protest that of course we love our children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things look from the perspective of the children Alfie Kohn strings-attached perspective children Learning is something students do, NOT something done to students. Alfie Kohn educational done students Unconditional parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason. Alfie Kohn punishment rewards moving
