Boys, the first drink is a boon, the second is a gamble, the third is poor judgment, and then the rate of descent gets steep Garrison Keillor More Quotes by Garrison Keillor More Quotes From Garrison Keillor You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. Garrison Keillor math inspirational needs Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted. Garrison Keillor single-mom family children I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.' Garrison Keillor history america thinking A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. Garrison Keillor noon able home Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it. Garrison Keillor unjust brave beautiful A child can educate just about anybody. Garrison Keillor educate children The thought of people in this day and age sitting down to listen to a radio variety show on Saturday evening is rather implausible and was even more so in 1974 when we started “A Prairie Home Companion.” Thank goodness Minnesota Public Radio was too poor to afford good advice or the show never would've got on the air. We only did it because we knew it would be fun to do. It was a dumb idea. I wish I knew how to be that dumb again. Garrison Keillor air home fun Don't worry about the past and don't try to solve the future. Garrison Keillor future worry past Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus. Garrison Keillor touching technique sex All solutions are temporary, so why not go for duct tape? Garrison Keillor tape why-not solutions The fundamental religion of most of mankind is the faith that God has revealed Himself to us and not to the barbarians. Our tribe is the one God chose and so if we vanquish the other tribes and rain fire and destruction on them, we're only carrying out God's Will. Garrison Keillor fire rain religion Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love Garrison Keillor rescue letting-go People do what they are told not to do. It happens time and time again. Here on the frozen tundra, it is known as the Tongue on the Frozen Pump Handle principle. Garrison Keillor frozen principles people Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see, say, thirty cans of tomato sauce and a five-pound bag of rice, I get a little thrill of well-being - much more so than if I take a look at the quarterly dividend report from my mutual fund. Garrison Keillor trust paper littles Don't tear up the page and start over again when you write a bad line-try to write your way out of it. Make mistakes and plunge on. Writing is a means of discovery, always. Garrison Keillor mistake writing mean Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. Garrison Keillor cat garden nature I am a cheerful man, even in the dark, and it's all thanks to a good Lutheran mother. . . . Mother was well composed, a true Lutheran, and taught me to Cheer up, Make yourself useful, Mind your manners, and above all, Don't feel sorry for yourself. Garrison Keillor cheer mother sorry My ability to keep cool in a crisis is based entirely on not knowing all the facts. Garrison Keillor crisis knowing facts Girls . . . were allowed to play in the house . . . and boys were sent outdoors. . . . Boys ran around in the yard with toy guns going kksshh-kksshh, fighting wars for made-up reasons and arguing about who was dead, while girls stayed inside and played with dolls, creating complex family groups and learning how to solve problems through negotiation and roleplaying. Which gender is better equipped, on the whole, to live an adult life, would you guess? Garrison Keillor girl fighting war Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers. Garrison Keillor dad father children
