But lately, when I’m drunk, I feel a hostility that I’ve never known before. It is a tension deep in my gut that makes me want to yell until my face is red, knock over glasses with the back of my hand, and kick people I don’t know in the shins. Koren Zailckas More Quotes by Koren Zailckas More Quotes From Koren Zailckas In my early to mid-20s, a fear of confrontation made it difficult for me to end relationships in a mature or even quasi-sane way. Instead, I would hang on resentfully, praying that my doomed beau would end things first and spare me the displeasure. To add hindrance to hang-up, the men I chose were usually just as stoic as I was. Koren Zailckas me mature fear men Having a child doesn't make a woman a mother any more than owning a paintbrush makes her Frida Kahlo. Koren Zailckas woman more child mother I think when you're 14 years old, I think you're sort of looking for markers that prove you're an adult and you're independent of your parents. Koren Zailckas looking parents think you Reading Poe was like a near-death experience, the kind that makes you feel fragile and free in its wake. I felt almost as though I'd scared myself alive. Koren Zailckas feel myself you experience My short stature may have something to do with my tendency to shout when enraged. How else is anyone going to hear me way down here? Koren Zailckas short down me way I grew up in a family that despised displays of strong emotion, rage in particular. We stewed. We sulked. When arguments did occur, they were full-scale conniptions, and we regarded them as family failings. Afterward, we withdrew from one another and tried our best to strike the event from our memories. Koren Zailckas best family strong memories What makes a narcissistic mother so scary? Her absolute power and controlling influence. A narcissistic mother is your only 'friend,' at least until you're old enough to go to school. Koren Zailckas you power mother school It's no wonder the narcissistic mother will always have a place in literature: she's a freak of nature. Koren Zailckas place nature literature mother My parents always swore that in my childhood they had to let me win at board games. If, by the lucky stroke of the plastic wheel, my father would accidentally beat me at Candy Land, I would fly into fits of bawling that I'm told would last for hours. If I couldn't triumph, I didn't want to play. Koren Zailckas fly me childhood father I would never make up a character who didn't exist or an event that didn't transpire. If you're a real writer, you have other tools in your toolbox to build drama. Koren Zailckas your never you character America, ever the narcissistic mother, prefers baby bumps to children and expectant mothers to full-fledged bum-and-nose-wiping ones. Koren Zailckas mother baby children america As long as we depend on other women for self-esteem, using them as bad examples or fantasy versions - special, powerful - of ourselves, they remain stuck in a narcissistic version of themselves, too. Koren Zailckas bad fantasy women long Why is Kris Jenner a powerhouse? Because some part of us confuses fame and infamy, too. If she really bothered us half as much as we claim she does, we'd look away and stop feeding her empire. Koren Zailckas she stop look fame When you are writing a memoir, you have the advantage of knowing how it all ends. It's just taking your life apart and putting it together again. Koren Zailckas you together writing life Since I've quit drinking, I'm not sure I've found the good life, but I've certainly uncovered a better one. Koren Zailckas better good good-life life I think what I learned in research is that as Americans, we're very distrustful of anger. We're not sure if we should repress it. The idea that anger is supposed to be controlled is American, and we try to keep it out of our homes. Koren Zailckas try think anger research I do think anger is so difficult for women. Girls think it undermines their femininity; it's not very ladylike. Koren Zailckas think difficult women anger We are taught to believe it's bad to be angry, or at least it's not good. That's not the case all throughout the world. People are more open and not embarrassed about it. For instance in Paris, people believe Americans have a really unhealthy relation with anger. They think it's essential to get angry. Koren Zailckas good angry anger people
