But love, like a mushroom high compared with the buzz from cheap weed, outlasts grief. Miriam Toews More Quotes by Miriam Toews More Quotes From Miriam Toews The other day I found her passport in her drawer when I was putting away my dad's laundered handkerchiefs. I wish I hadn't. For the purpose of my story, she should have it with her. I sat on my dad's bed and flipped through page after empty page. No stamps. No exotic locales. No travel-worn smudges or creases. Just the ID information and my mother's black-and-white photo which if it were used in a psychology textbook on the meaning of facial expressions would be labelled: Obscenely, heartbreakingly hopeful. Miriam Toews black-and-whitedadmother I wondered if it was possible to donate my body to science before I was actually dead. I wondered if a disease were to be named after me what the symptoms would be. Miriam Toews diseasebodywould-be It bothered me in a kind of Charles Manson way to have a brown smear of blood on my wall but I also liked it because every time I looked at it I was reminded that I was, at that very moment, not bleeding from my face. And those are powerful words of hope, really. Miriam Toews wallpowerfulblood Perhaps depression is caused by asking oneself too many unanswerable questions. Miriam Toews oneselfasking Life being what it is, one dreams not of revenge. One just dreams. Miriam Toews just-a-dreamrevengedream ...and I put on "All My Love" and watched the sun rise yet again and thought thank you Robert Plant for all your love but do you have anymore? Miriam Toews sun-riseplantsun The whole notion of pain, and how every individual experiences pain, is up for debate. We don't know how another person experiences pain - physical pain or psychic pain. Some of these clinics where assisted suicide or euthanasia is practiced, they call it 'weariness of life.' Miriam Toews debatepainsuicidelife There are so many things in my life that would be completely not on within the conservative church. And yet I think of myself as a reasonably decent human being. With all sorts of flaws, you know, but still reasonably decent. If I did believe in Heaven and Hell, I would really, honestly, believe I was going to go to Heaven. Miriam Toews my-lifemyselfyoulife We don't choose the books we write; they choose us. Miriam Toews choosebooksuswrite The theme of sisters - of missing sisters, of needing sisters, the special love that sisters share or the antagonism sisters share - is something that is very close to me. Miriam Toews mespecialmissinglove A depressed person is often a person who will push others away. If you are pushed away and pushed away and pushed away, you have to have an enormous amount of inner resources to keep going back. Miriam Toews pushwillyoukeep-going When everything does seem out of control, writing fiction is a way I can order that chaos and restore some sort of meaning. I like the playful aspect of writing fiction. You know how it is when we are kids and we make up our worlds: You be this guy, and I am going to be this guy, and we are going to go slay dragons. Miriam Toews controli-amyouway All the books I've read, I've read at the right moment. Miriam Toews booksrightmomentright-moment With my father and sister being very depressed for most of their lives, it was incumbent on me to try to make them laugh, in this ridiculous way. They were the wittiest people I knew, but to get a smile from them was like winning the lottery. Miriam Toews mesmilefatherpeople There are people who are just suicidal, regardless. They are built to self-destruct. It seems, in my family, like a virus that's resistant to any kind of help or care or medication. Miriam Toews helpfamilycarepeople In writing fiction, I can be free. I can use my life. The raw material is my experiences. Miriam Toews my-lifefreei-canlife Writing helps me to create order out of chaos and make sense of things. It helps me to understand what I've experienced, what I've felt and seen, so it becomes a little easier to handle. On the other hand, I don't want it to be just a cathartic experience, an outpouring of grief or whatever it is. Miriam Toews understandmeexperiencegrief I don't see any division between the comic and the tragic. I feel like I'm writing about serious things, and humour is one of my tools. It's not contrived, just part of my world, part of the way things are to me. Miriam Toews feelmeseriousworld The writing life is one long, never-ending search for narrative. Well, it's not even a conscious searching. It happens even while you're busy buying groceries and when you're fast asleep. It's a curse. Miriam Toews youbusylifelong A writer is always, always searching, even against her will, against all her better instincts, for the thread of a story. Everything is fodder. Everything is fuel. You can feel it coming on like the tingling of a sore throat. The brain never stops struggling to reshape every experience and feeling into a coherent narrative. Miriam Toews feelyouexperiencebrain
