By a considerable margin, my family's largest-ever financial expenditure was the adoption of our two sons. Rumaan Alam More Quotes by Rumaan Alam More Quotes From Rumaan Alam Children's literature - the product of adult guesswork - often fails to account for its audience's slippery grasp on the world. Rumaan Alam product literature children world Shopping for clothes is time consuming, it's tiring, and it can feel like a waste of an autumn afternoon. Rumaan Alam autumn shopping clothes time Baking is a matter of precision and timing, but I just make things up as I go. Rumaan Alam things go baking matter Kids are the ultimate trump card: a way to get out of co-op board meetings or lunch with a friend you don't want to see or your brother-in-law's set at a comedy club. It's fair to use your kids as an excuse to sidestep what you don't want to do; it's less fair to blame them for not being able to achieve what you do want to do. Rumaan Alam friend you blame lunch Children's picture books are a unique record of social evolution: in gender roles and racial politics, as is much discussed, but also in fashion and interior design. Rumaan Alam picture fashion politics children For a long time, I thought that I was an enlightened parent by virtue of being an enlightened person. What a fool. Rumaan Alam fool parent time long I think that in the cultural imagination, motherhood has a primacy that fatherhood just doesn't; and that's not to say that there aren't many fathers who are active and engaged and for whom that is their life's passion. But somehow, in the imagination, there's something different about maternity. Rumaan Alam motherhood passion imagination life When my husband and I first became parents, we joked that our chubby baby was destined to grow into an Alex P. Keaton Reaganite - the most unlikely, and therefore hilarious, course for the child of an interracial gay couple in gentrifying Brooklyn. Rumaan Alam parents child gay husband In a strange way, Louise Erdrich is perhaps our least famous great American writer; she is not reclusive, but she is reticent, and her public appearances give the impression of a carefully controlled performance. But Erdrich has also shared many of her most intimate emotions and experiences, in some form, in her novels. Rumaan Alam emotions performance great way I'm not black myself, but my sons are. Rumaan Alam sons myself black I always like it when writers posit writing as an act of empathy. It's such a grand turn of phrase, such a noble ideal; empathy is so worth aiming for in life that the same must hold true in art. But personally, I can't think too deeply about that when I'm working, or I'd never get anything down on the page. Rumaan Alam think empathy life art Parenting is love, sure, but it's as much about receiving love as it is giving it. Parenthood is a kind of vanity. Rumaan Alam vanity parenting love giving It is true for my family and many others: Adoption has made us infinitely richer in the ways that matter most. Rumaan Alam true others family matter My husband and I adopted our children through a private agency, Spence-Chapin Services to Families and Children. As a nonprofit organization, it relies on client fees as well as donor support to do its work. Rumaan Alam support husband work children Contemporary families can be made in many ways. You might step up when relatives or friends are unable to meet their obligation to their children. You might marry someone who is already a parent. Or you might, as in my case, yearn to create a family and decide to adopt. Rumaan Alam you friends family children Form ossifies into genre through repetition. Rumaan Alam through repetition genre form A writer cannot be judged for his project, only its execution. Rumaan Alam project cannot only execution Uzodinma Iweala is a fine and confident novelist. Rumaan Alam novelist confident fine Genre is a useful thing when organizing texts in a bookshop but immaterial to the particular exchange between writer and reader. Rumaan Alam organizing exchange between useful It comforts the adult conscience to remember that, amid history's grave injustices, there were still great lives. Rumaan Alam great conscience remember history
