Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing. Frank Zappa More Quotes by Frank Zappa More Quotes From Frank Zappa Certification from one source or another seems to be the most important thing to people all over the world. A piece of paper from a school that says you're smart, a pat on the head from your parents that says you're good or some reinforcement from your peers that makes you think what you're doing is worthwhile. People are just waiting around to get certified. Frank Zappa smart school thinking Tighten my headband for an extra rush. Frank Zappa headbands drug alcohol Do your job and do it right, life's a ball, TV tonight. Frank Zappa balls work jobs They's making it worse, the labor movement got the mafia curse. Frank Zappa mafia movement work Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition. Frank Zappa abnormal steps two Give me the enchilada with the pickle sauce shoved up between the donkey's ass until he can't come anymore. Frank Zappa social-taboos sauce giving I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do. Frank Zappa toilets sitting Look here brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris? Frank Zappa debris brother looks Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut. Frank Zappa peanuts mentality It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on. Frank Zappa exotic fragrance mysterious Brown shoes don't make it. Frank Zappa brown shoes fashion Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music. Frank Zappa criminals law order Mama stroked his dinger, Daddy got stinky finger. Frank Zappa mama daddy family Well Mike, I'm abnormal. Frank Zappa abnormal wells atheism The devil, he's about this big. He had a red suit on and a widow's peak, and then a pointed tail, and like a sulfur reek. Yes, it was him alright, I swear. Frank Zappa widows evil tails We was on our way to fame, got matching suits and Beatle boots. Frank Zappa suits boots way Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil. Frank Zappa utensils cosmic I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don't want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole. Frank Zappa gum princess want Nothing I've ever written has been motivated by trying to impact or influence anybody. Frank Zappa impact influence trying Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands. Frank Zappa lord boys hands