Janeane Garofalo: Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the Americ...

I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.

Janeane Garofalo

competing bigs fans

If the audience is responding very well to comedians that are hacks, and I don't do well, I don't feel as bad, because I feel like their taste is different than mine. They're laughing at somebody I would never laugh at, so that makes it okay, because obviously our tastes are not in the same place. And comedy is subjective, so I feel like maybe the failure wasn't all mine. I don't think they ever would have really enjoyed me. So sometimes that's a little easier, but not much.

Janeane Garofalo

comedian laughing thinking

I was too ignorant to realize, "Oh, this will be difficult."

Janeane Garofalo

ignorant difficult realizing

I make jewelry occasionally. I'm not a hobbyist. I'm a reader, I'm a lover of books, I like to watch movies, but mostly a lot of nothing. I'm quite content doing very little.

Janeane Garofalo

littles watches book

I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in the mid-eighties through the mid-nineties there was a boom of sorts. So there were plenty of stages. If I had started now, there would be very few places to get better and better.

Janeane Garofalo

get-better stage would-be

Unfortunately, I am not one of those comics where it's guaranteed that I hit it out of the park every time. You know, I am not completely reliable. It's always different, and it's a complete crapshoot whether I'm going to do well.

Janeane Garofalo

different

I do not enjoy when people don't like me.

Janeane Garofalo

dont-like-me enjoy people

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

Janeane Garofalo

notebook strikes writing

Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!

Janeane Garofalo

environmental unions birth-control

Like I said, I'm just grateful when anyone offers me a job. It's like, "Okay. I'll do it." FBI agent is one, too, when you get older. When you're kind of an older lady hard-ass, FBI tends to happen. It's just because I'd like to work rather than not work, so I'm just happy if somebody wants me to do anything.

Janeane Garofalo

fbi grateful kind

I hate high fashion. I hate that we reward people for being genetic freaks. You hear the guys announcing the runway shows saying, 'A pretty face is your best asset this season.' And what? Ugly girls had a free ride last year?

Janeane Garofalo

fashion girl hate

It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.

Janeane Garofalo

lucky jobs years

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is trying to marginalize the peace movement.

Janeane Garofalo

media wings trying

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

Janeane Garofalo

naked running negative

I don't know who you're referring to exactly who said, 'What has Iraq done to us?'

Janeane Garofalo

iraq done

I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.

Janeane Garofalo

frustration hate self

Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.

Janeane Garofalo

red-flags eating-disorder eye

I think we all remember where we were when Rush Hour hit the water. That was an important day.

Janeane Garofalo

important water thinking

You get pigeonholed by what you sort of look like. And I don't mean this in a self-deprecating way. I'm grateful for any opportunity to act. But I think that if you're not classically attractive or mainstream attractive, especially as you get older, there's only like three jobs that people think you do. Like, "police officer who may be gay." District attorney is a big one. Lawyer. Doctor.

Janeane Garofalo

grateful gay mean

TV, it's a director's medium, and they wanna make it look interesting. To be rehearsing mostly for the sake of where you're standing so they can do the lighting, that's what I don't like.

Janeane Garofalo

directors looks interesting

Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro-life, pro-war, pro-gun, pro-death penalty Christian.