Dave Chappelle is one of the most, maybe the most, intellectual comedian ever. Eddie Murphy More Quotes by Eddie Murphy More Quotes From Eddie Murphy Every bad decision I've made has been based on money. I grew up in the projects and you don't turn down money there. You take it, because you never know when it's all going to end. I made Cop III because they offered me $15 million. That $15 million was worth having Roger Ebert's thumb up my ass. Eddie Murphy rogerthumbs-updecision I will blow your face clean off your face! Eddie Murphy cleanblowfaces Seventy-five years. That's how much time you get if you're lucky. Seventy-five years. Seventy-five winters, seventy-five springtimes, seventy-five summers, and seventy-five autumns. When you look at it like that, it's not a lot of time, is it? Don't waste them. Get your head out of the rat race and forget about the superficial things that pre-occupy your existence and get back to what's important now. Eddie Murphy autumnsummerwinter All men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives, trying to create their idea of their masterpiece. Eddie Murphy selfmenideas Anything you have to acquire a taste for was not meant to be eaten. Eddie Murphy were-not-meant-to-betastewriting The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought 'Oh, Lord.' I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty. Eddie Murphy towelspaindying The advice I would give to someone is to not take anyone’s advice. Eddie Murphy advicegiving If you're an artist like a really, really long time, it stops being a performance. I'm not performing anymore. I reveal myself to the audience... I show you some of me. It's not a show no more. Eddie Murphy performingartistlong You can't let the good things people say make you feel too good, because you're going to let the bad things make you feel bad. Eddie Murphy good-thingsfeelspeople When I'm doing stand-up, it's just me depending on me. I know how to go out there and make people laugh. I've been doing it since I was a teenager. I trust my instincts. I just go out and talk. A lot of the time I let the material come from the top of my head. Eddie Murphy teenagerlaughingpeople How can you do the moonwalk and ask a woman to dance? Hey baby lets dance... cya later! Eddie Murphy heyasksbaby I've always had confidence. It came because I have lots of initiative. I wanted to make something of myself. Eddie Murphy self-confidenceconfidenceinitiative The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people Eddie Murphy moneyhurtpeople That's my idol, Elvis Presley. If you went to my house, you'd see pictures all over of Elvis. He's just the greatest entertainer that ever lived. And I think it's because he had such presence. When Elvis walked into a room, Elvis Presley was in the f***ing room. I don't give a f*** who was in the room with him, Bogart, Marilyn Monroe. Eddie Murphy idolsgivingthinking I'm just a man. I think people are reacting to something else when they see me. They're not reacting to me, Eddie Murphy. They don't even know me. It's just luck and the God in me they're reacting to. Eddie Murphy menpeoplethinking All inspiration comes from a higher power. The body is a shell. The creative spot is from God - You hear voices, everybody does. When you get older, you refer to it as intuition. Eddie Murphy voicecreativeinspiration I haven't read a newspaper in 20 years. I don't look at the computer or anything. You have to have a filter on what you let in. Eddie Murphy filterslooksyears White boys always get the Oscar. It's a known fact. Did I ever get a nomination? No! You know why? Cause I hadn't played any of them slave roles, and get my ass whipped. That's how you get the nomination. A black dude who plays a slave that gets his ass whipped gets the nomination, a white guy who plays an idiot gets the Oscar. That's what I need, I need to play a retarded slave, then I'll get the Oscar. Eddie Murphy whiteplayboys I want a woman who can arouse my intellect as well as my loins. Eddie Murphy intellectwellswant Flowers are the fastest way to a woman's heart. Well, actually, the fastest way is through her rib cage, but flowers are a lot less messy. Eddie Murphy ribsflowerheart
