David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends. Amy Sedaris More Quotes by Amy Sedaris More Quotes From Amy Sedaris Books are challenging and inspirational to me. Amy Sedaris challenges book When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies. Amy Sedaris scrapbooking chocolate people They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean? Amy Sedaris kind mean way I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time. Amy Sedaris kitchen magic use I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop. Amy Sedaris cop play book But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty. Amy Sedaris play people thinking When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly. Amy Sedaris medicine drug mind If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit. Amy Sedaris bullshit party children I always got along with all types of people - popular people as well as drug addicts. Amy Sedaris type drug people I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I just like dressing up and pretending to be other people. Amy Sedaris dressing-up writing mean I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing. Amy Sedaris depressing going-out ideas A lot of crafters, they're shut-ins. Amy Sedaris crafters Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at? Amy Sedaris framed wall looks I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married. Amy Sedaris married want kids I always find something to keep me busy. Amy Sedaris busy-life busy I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school. Amy Sedaris imagine girl school Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it. Amy Sedaris crafts gay guy I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive. Amy Sedaris unattractive people thinking But I love how people who are musical, they know how to dress. Amy Sedaris musical dresses people A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly. Amy Sedaris ugly girl thinking
