Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way. Darynda Jones More Quotes by Darynda Jones More Quotes From Darynda Jones You’re the reason I breathe Darynda Jones breathereason I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day? Darynda Jones skanksunclesmouths I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me Darynda Jones shouldtryingfather Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly. Darynda Jones destinynightchildren I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly Darynda Jones datingsatanson Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor. Darynda Jones tap-danceminorsokay A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same. Darynda Jones uniformshotmen Does Uncle Bob have anything?" "I heard he has an STD." "I mean on the women." "Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs. Darynda Jones unclesmeanideas It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles. Darynda Jones miraclewould-bewaiting I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations. Darynda Jones expectationsactionopportunity What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not? Darynda Jones pardon-mepardon Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm. Darynda Jones pretendingdrinkcoffee Charley talking to Cookie ‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?'' ‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into ''That’s going to be you!'' She was probably right, if I live that long Darynda Jones nursinghometalking Hey, boss. Where are you?” she asked. “I just picked up something to eat. What about professional belly dancers?” “Um, I don’t know, maybe with horseradish. Darynda Jones bossdancerhey Rocket," I said, straightening in the chair. "Donovan was just helping me with my contacts." Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. "Did you swallow them? Darynda Jones rocketschairshelping Your existence gives me a headache. Go stand over there. Darynda Jones headacheexistencegiving Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well. Darynda Jones wellsblind Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe. Darynda Jones breathetrust-mehelping She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people. Darynda Jones winningbookpeople You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something. Darynda Jones bookcasesapartmentguy
