Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Some authorities hold that the young ought not to lie at all. That, of course, is putting it rather stronger than necessary; still, while I cannot go quite so far as that, I do maintain, and I believe I am right, that the young ought to be temperate in the use of this great art until practice and experience shall give them that confidence, elegance and precision which alone can make the accomplishment graceful and profitable. Mark Twain education lying art No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale. Mark Twain retail flying skulls If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty. Mark Twain empty reputation mouths Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway. Mark Twain papa hypocrisy doe Taking the pledge will not make bad liquor good, but it will improve it. Mark Twain liquor abstinence drinking Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private. Mark Twain girl bible children There isn't a Parallel of Latitude but thinks it would have been the Equator if it had had its rights. Mark Twain arrogance rights thinking All human rules are more or less idiotic. Mark Twain conventionality idiotic humans The best of us would rather be popular than right. Mark Twain popularity Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs? Mark Twain renaissance republic permission I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army. Mark Twain army losing sleep The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor. Mark Twain labor-day pleasure freedom Do your duty today and repent tomorrow. Mark Twain tomorrow advice today Never mistake motion for progress. Mark Twain progress mistake Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be Mark Twain party law moving The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships. Mark Twain xmas holiday forgotten If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships. Mark Twain fewer ifs By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed. Mark Twain nations soldier safe I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired. Mark Twain tired taken sleep What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one; These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme. Mark Twain men father son
