Don't apologize for what you think you did wrong. Apologize for what they think you did wrong. David D. Burns More Quotes by David D. Burns More Quotes From David D. Burns What sentence will you choose to impose on yourself? Are you willing to stop suffering and making yourself miserable when your sentence has expired? This would at least be a responsible way to punish yourself because it would be time-limited. David D. Burns sufferingwould-beway Guilt is not the best way to remedy your mistakes. David D. Burns guiltmistakeway Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air. David D. Burns starsairmay Learning to accept failure on multiple levels is, to my way of thinking, the key to become a world-class therapist. But that means humility, and setting your ego aside, while you develop superb new technical skills. David D. Burns humilitymeanthinking Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching air. They suffer from mood disorders, troubled relationships, and stress. They may even achieve less than others. David D. Burns stressstarsair Powerful new drug-free treatments have been developed for depression and for every conceivable type of anxiety, such as chronic worrying, shyness, public speaking anxiety, test anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks. The goal of the treatment is not just partial improvement but full recovery. David D. Burns recoverypowerfulworry The first principle of cognitive therapy is that all your moods are created by your 'cognitions,' or thoughts. A cognition refers to the way you look at things - your perceptions, mental attitudes, and beliefs. It includes the way you interpret things - what you say. about something or someone to yourself. David D. Burns thoughtsyourselflookyou Therapy is not to 'talk about' things, but to change the person's life, and to relieve suffering, such as depression, anxiety, or relationship problems. David D. Burns changedepressionrelationshiplife I'm all for 'tools,' not 'schools,' of therapy. To me, the schools of therapy compete much like religions, or even cults, all claiming to know the cause and to have the best method for treating people. David D. Burns religionsbestmepeople The stereotype of psychotherapy portrayed in popular books and movies is lying on the couch and saying whatever comes into your mind, while a kindly psychoanalyst listens and nods knowingly from time to time. After years and years, something wonderful is supposed to happen. David D. Burns moviessayingmindtime One of the most interesting things about the cognitive theory is the idea that anger and interpersonal conflict ultimately result from a mental con. In other words, you're telling yourself things that aren't entirely true when you're fighting with someone. David D. Burns wordsyourselfyouanger I've been interviewed for hundreds of magazine articles, and they come out incredibly goofy about 90 percent of the time. David D. Burns magazineaboutgoofytime There is no standard 'therapeutic process,' since there are so many different schools of therapy. David D. Burns standardtherapydifferentprocess Most therapists do not appear to know how to pinpoint and reverse therapeutic resistance - to head it off at the pass. Instead, they try to persuade the patient to change, or to do the psychotherapy homework, while the patient resists and 'yes-butts' the therapist. The therapist ends up feeling frustrated and resentful, and doing all the work. David D. Burns feelingknowchangework I always wanted to see people's lives transformed from depression and anxiety to joy and peace. David D. Burns depressionjoypeacepeople Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem. David D. Burns lovedfeelhopedepression I had the fear of heights when I was young, along with many other fears and phobias, including the fear of dogs, bees, horses, and blood. David D. Burns heightsyoungfearblood What saddens me is seeing patients who have been going to therapy for years and years with no change, but they keep going to the same therapist. To me, that's not right. David D. Burns rightmekeep-goingchange Most people do surprisingly poorly when dealing with a relative who is hurting, depressed, or anxious - we get defensive and try to solve the problem rather than finding the truth in what the person is saying. David D. Burns sayingproblemtruthpeople There is no 'ultimate goal of therapy.' Thinking there is some ultimate or universal goal of therapy is one of the most fundamental errors of our field. To me, that concept is rather arrogant, as if therapists were some kind of spiritual experts who knew what human beings are supposed to be like. David D. Burns likemespiritualthinking
