Don't hold me to anything in the book. I'm a waffler. I like wafflers. They said John Kerry was a waffler, but I admired him for that - showed he could change his mind. Jonathan Ames More Quotes by Jonathan Ames More Quotes From Jonathan Ames It was one of those days when every time I went to go out the door, something grabbed me in the back of the brain and said, lie down and masturbate one more time. Jonathan Ames brain doors lying Oh, God, I don't know what's more difficult, life or the English language. Jonathan Ames difficult language knows For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone. Jonathan Ames feels book way Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots who knows everything about health and is in a constant state of alarm, and yet I continue to do everything I shouldn't do. Jonathan Ames alarms idiot states I didn't think I was in a morbid mood, but it appears I am. My mind goes round and round trying to figure things out, but I always come back to the same two things: Loneliness and Death. Life ends before we figure anything out, most importantly how not to be lonely. Solitude is fine. But feeling like you have no one to love - abject lonliness - is not alright. Jonathan Ames lonely loneliness thinking I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Reminds me of my childhood. Jonathan Ames stockholm-syndrome syndromes childhood Something has happened where you almost never grow up in America. Maybe it's the greater wealth. Jonathan Ames wealth growing-up america In fact, I have no hobbies. The only thing I like to do in life is to go to the Russian Baths in Manhattan. I also like to watch sports on TV, and I like to read books. So that's it - Russian Baths, sports, and books. Jonathan Ames sports book I started puberty very late. I was nearly sixteen. And for complicated reasons this late arrival of my puberty caused me to stop playing competitive tennis. But before my puberty problem, I had trouble with my lower back and with my left testicle. Jonathan Ames sixteen tennis complicated I wondered where the person was who had taken my place, who wanted to know what news people had been told. I'm always looking for the person who replaces me, who thinks the things I do, who fills in for me when I'm not there. I know there is someone younger than me doing what I did and someone older doing what I will do, and someone my age being just like me. Jonathan Ames taken people thinking There's no shortage of material in life. Jonathan Ames shortage materials I certainly want to portray the importance of friendship. I had noticed in movies and TV shows that friends often treated one another terribly, and my friends, the few I have, are never cruel to me or unkind, so I wanted to convey that. Jonathan Ames unkind importance The reason it's hard for me to tweet is I don't want to pronounce anything, and Twitter is for pronouncing. Jonathan Ames tweet reason want Even when I was living below the poverty line as a novelist, I was still living better than 99.5% of the human population of the world. But in my little, soft realm of trying to amuse a few dozen middle-class people with my books and articles, I did struggle to survive in my own way. Jonathan Ames struggle class book I grew up in northern New Jersey - the banlieue of New York - and I now live in Brooklyn. I am separated from my parents by about 50 miles, but really there is almost no distance between us. I speak to them nearly every day. Jonathan Ames distance parent new-york I don't like rides. I take everything in life quite literally, and so I genuinely feel terrified on rides and liable to vomit at any moment, and I hate to vomit even more than I fear rides. So, all this to say, I don't have a favorite ride. I don't go on rides. Well, that's not true. A few years ago I had a beautiful, romantic moment on the Ferris wheel at Coney Island, known as the Wonder Wheel, and so I guess that's my favorite ride, though even that, to be frank, terrified me. Jonathan Ames hate wonder beautiful For me, the past is dead. Can't go back. Jonathan Ames past I'm actually much more shy and self-conscious than people's perception of me. Jonathan Ames perception self people I promote my own self-hatred. Jonathan Ames self-hatred hatred self Whenever I wrote fiction, people always seemed to think that what I wrote was true, that it was entirely autobiographical. And when I would write non-fiction, they often accused me of exaggeration and fictionalization. Jonathan Ames writing people thinking