Don't tell television, but there is some superior programming being made on the Interwebz. Chris Hardwick More Quotes by Chris Hardwick More Quotes From Chris Hardwick Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing. Chris Hardwick offended Any nerd who grew up around the time that I did, BBC programming was a treasure chest for us. Chris Hardwick nerd treasure grew-up For me personally, I have a fear of, 'If I stop, I'm going to die.' If I stop doing the things that are enriching to me or creatively exciting to me or if I stop creating, then I feel stagnant. If something isn't growing, it's dying. Chris Hardwick creating growing dying Even before I had an assistant, my calendar was color-coded and I had all these different e-mail rules for how to prioritize e-mails, so I made it a point years ago to figure all that stuff out because my life was a mess. Chris Hardwick color different years I've been out of work so many times in my life that relying too much on just one job is terrifying. Chris Hardwick just-one too-much jobs It's funny: when I first started getting vocal about how much I liked 'Doctor Who,' I didn't realize how deep the fan base was. Chris Hardwick doctors fans firsts If I wasn't acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics. Chris Hardwick discipline acting would-be What's more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night. Chris Hardwick age water night In the '90s, you couldn't say the word 'nerd' to someone when pitching a show. They would have considered that too niche and wouldn't have listened. Chris Hardwick pitching niche nerd You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash; they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is. Chris Hardwick pigeons cash clubs Some people learn comedy, and some people just are comedy. Chris Hardwick comedy people Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why. Chris Hardwick writing laughing ideas If you do a joke that's really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, 'Real original, you're just doing old jokes!' But bands do it all the time. Chris Hardwick band real people Mainstream culture is like your mom: It's always a little late to catch on and gets easily confused by technology, but it means well. Chris Hardwick confused mom mean Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts? Chris Hardwick class people thinking If you wish to achieve any success in this life, do your best to surround yourself with an orgy of good choices. Chris Hardwick choices wish success American television constantly tries to co-op British comedy and create their own version of it. Most of the time it doesn't work; obviously, in the case of 'The Office,' it did. But a lot of times, it doesn't really work. Chris Hardwick office trying television We're gonna have fun, god***it! Chris Hardwick having-fun fun We didn't understand irony yet in the '80s; we just kind of existed at face value, so there was no nerd cool yet because the digital revolution was still in its infancy. Chris Hardwick digital-revolution nerd faces I dated around some, but I've always been a serial monogamist. I don't know how people date around a lot, and not want to stab themselves in the face with a sharp object. Chris Hardwick dating want people