Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form. Norm MacDonald More Quotes by Norm MacDonald More Quotes From Norm MacDonald This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it. Norm MacDonald gamblinggameswatches I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world. Norm MacDonald realsportsorder I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him. Norm MacDonald people Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. Norm MacDonald comedysurpriselaughing Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost. Norm MacDonald libertylost I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win. Norm MacDonald exercisesportssex Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers. Norm MacDonald flatteryfoolwould-be Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex. Norm MacDonald sexfictiondirty I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke. Norm MacDonald crazyreallaughing The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise. Norm MacDonald advicegivingcharacter When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape. Norm MacDonald golfmenkids I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good. Norm MacDonald briantheaterbigs I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time. Norm MacDonald guytalkingpeople I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration. Norm MacDonald collaborationhatewriting I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff. Norm MacDonald shouldstuffpeople Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life. Norm MacDonald very-goodgood-thingsthinking I don't have to meet actors. I'm really blessed that I don't have to do all that horseshit. Norm MacDonald actorsblessed I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. Norm MacDonald fanssportsyears The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh. Norm MacDonald tv-showsnighttwo You're used to a TV show, and TV is just made for TV shows. It's not made for live events.So anyways, I was resistant to it, but I did it anyway. Norm MacDonald tv-showseventstvs
