Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac? George Carlin More Quotes by George Carlin More Quotes From George Carlin The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives. George Carlin phrases practice might Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture. George Carlin thieves taken art All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant. George Carlin drug long people Pardon me I've got nothing to say. George Carlin pardon-me pardon Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. George Carlin whales bees tree If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends. George Carlin holiday weekend stupid With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet. George Carlin abortion chickens feminist There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are. George Carlin going-away years thinking When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke. George Carlin humorous average looks I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes. George Carlin cracks play people I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's. George Carlin temperature florida age I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect. George Carlin hell humorous worry Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying. George Carlin dying stupid people The planet isn't going anywhere. We are. George Carlin planets I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people. George Carlin hard-work people thinking For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself. George Carlin artist trying long I often wonder how different the world would be if Hitler had not been turned down when he applied to art school. George Carlin different art school You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven. George Carlin eleven form government Never underestimate the role pretension plays when it comes to creating euphemistic language. George Carlin creating roles play Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it. George Carlin cop law feelings
