Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!! Joan Rivers More Quotes by Joan Rivers More Quotes From Joan Rivers I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning. Joan Rivers fey looks thinking I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her. Joan Rivers comedy support men I have to tell you that it's not going to be easy. Take every chance and every opportunity that you can. Don't say 'I can't' or 'I shouldn't' or 'I'm too tired.' Joan Rivers tired chance opportunity Every television show you go on is a choice. Joan Rivers choices goes-on television I’m never without a bandage. Joan Rivers plastic-surgery bandages Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. Joan Rivers chins telephones chinese Boy George is all England needs. Another queen who can't dress. Joan Rivers queens dresses boys I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. Joan Rivers life thinking I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool. Joan Rivers country children thinking She's so fat, she's my two best friends. Joan Rivers hillarious two-best-friends two I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show. Joan Rivers terrified stage shows I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving. Joan Rivers president age want She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees. Joan Rivers hillarious knees sarcastic My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller. Joan Rivers parenting motherhood memories I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter. Joan Rivers i-can age yellow My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth. Joan Rivers cousin parenting motherhood When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off. Joan Rivers memorable men years The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery. Joan Rivers age men way The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage. Joan Rivers stage Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear. Joan Rivers grief hurt fear
