Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. Gary Chapman More Quotes by Gary Chapman More Quotes From Gary Chapman In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed often in the way you have responded to them, the way you have treated them, in the way you have handled your hurt and your pain. Gary Chapman painhurtmay Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love. Gary Chapman demandflowgiving Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. I am also convinced that love is the most important ingredient in the single 's search for meaning. Gary Chapman impactblocklove-is My attitude affects my actions. So, if I have a negative attitude about it, then it is going to show up in the way I respond, but if I have a positive attitude, then I start looking for the things I can do that will make my life better and make the lives of people around me better. Gary Chapman attitudepeoplenegative Emotions are our spontaneous response to life. We have these emotions, but if the emotion is a negative emotion, then I have a choice to say, "I am feeling sad tonight because this happened, but I am not going to let my sadness keep me from engaging my wife in conversation. " Gary Chapman sadnesswifechoices We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. Gary Chapman eraseacceptingpast You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision. Gary Chapman decisionexpressionlove-you We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you keep telling yourself that, then you live with no hope. But if you understand that that's a myth, then you open up the door to hope. Gary Chapman doorslongbelieve Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake. Gary Chapman sprinklescakefour Physician Albert Scheweitzer said. " We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." Professor Leo Buscaglia notes, "There seems to be accumulating evidence that there is actually an inborn need for this togetherness, this human interaction, this love. It seems that without these close ties with other human beings, a new born infant, for example, can regress developmentally, lose consciousness, fall into idiocy and die. Gary Chapman tieslonelinessfall Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me. But learning to love her in the way that makes her feel loved is a greater demonstration of my love for her, because I've chosen to do it with a goal of pleasing her. Gary Chapman wifegoaladvice We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic. Gary Chapman our-worldhuman-naturereality Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today! Gary Chapman miserabletodaygiving I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make another person feel loved. Gary Chapman ageloveyears We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve. Gary Chapman inspirational-marriageproblemforget Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments. Gary Chapman punishmentisolationcry The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday. Gary Chapman everydaydecisionway When I admit my own imperfections, it doesn't mean I am a bad person. Gary Chapman imperfectionpersonsmean One [reality] is that I am responsible for my attitude. I can be in prison, and I happen to get a chance to go outside. I can look at the mud, or I can look at the stars. I am the one who decides which way to look. That is true for every one of us. Gary Chapman starsattitudereality What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage. Gary Chapman before-marriageindication
