Here I am, just wandering down a deserted street in the middle of the night. I hope I don't run into any trouble. Goodness, that would just ruin my whole evening." I strolled and hummed, trying to project Innocent Victim. MaryJanice Davidson More Quotes by MaryJanice Davidson More Quotes From MaryJanice Davidson Zombieland reference," Jon said, nodding. "How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference!" I looked at laura. "I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago." "Uh...Betsy..." "Don't say it." You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot. MaryJanice Davidson stupid years thinking The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not "I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy" nuts or PMS nuts. "I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend" nuts. MaryJanice Davidson bad-day blood thinking I—I adore you, too. Well, I don't know if I adore you. That's not really the word I'd use. But I—I—" I managed to wrench it out. God, this was hard! "I love you." "Of course you do," he said, totally unsurprised. "WHAT? I finally tell you my deepest, most personal feelings and you're all, 'Yeah, I already got that memo'? This, this is why you drive me nuts! This is why it's so hard to tell you things! I take it back. MaryJanice Davidson nuts love-you feelings He snarled at me. "This isn't over yet, Betsy." "Excellent," I said. "I would also have accepted 'You haven't seen the last of me' and 'You'll regret this'. MaryJanice Davidson excellent regret lasts I've always assumed he'd be around to be, you know, yelled at and taken for granted. And of course I was wrong. Nobody's going to put up with that forever. MaryJanice Davidson granted taken forever Why is it suddenly uncool to spell? That's all I want to know. MaryJanice Davidson uncool knows want I'll cough up the bitter truth right now, at the risk of losing my Feminism Club Decoder Ring: I didn't go see 'Inside Out' for Amy Poehler, though she's terrific. I went to see my dark prince, Lewis Black. MaryJanice Davidson black losing truth dark Among other things, Marching Band forms state that if my kid starts acting like a li'l jerkface on a trip, Marching Band can call and command me to pick up my li'l jerkface. MaryJanice Davidson things like me band I love traveling, but I love the bum I married, and the bums I gave birth to, more. And the dogs. I love them, too. MaryJanice Davidson dogs more birth love Being a writer is great, and being a parent is great, and I hate Marching Band. MaryJanice Davidson great band hate parent Magic: The Gathering is like Dungeons and Dragons if D&D was played with cards and didn't take 18 weeks. MaryJanice Davidson like magic gathering cards The silly antics that would get me in trouble at school have put me on the best-seller list. So I guess the moral here is ignore your teach... never mind. That's not the moral. Probably. MaryJanice Davidson ignore me mind school My 20s were a blizzard of rejection slips. MaryJanice Davidson were blizzard slips rejection I love interviews, meeting fans, teaching workshops, giving speeches... all of it. MaryJanice Davidson meeting fans love giving I always knew I'd keep at it with the plodding doggedness that I used to master lump-less gravy and wriggle out of fitness classes; I always knew I'd get a zillion rejection slips. I figured I'd write part time while working various full-time office jobs, and maybe, maybe in my 50s, I'd be able to quit and try writing full time. MaryJanice Davidson rejection fitness writing time I guess you could say that no matter what the characters are enduring, I try to make them retain their humanity. Their self-absorbed, grouchy, selfish, aggravating humanity. MaryJanice Davidson you selfish humanity matter I own two beautiful homes, and I'm always half-expecting the cops to pull in, seize me with firm compassion, and escort me out. MaryJanice Davidson own me compassion beautiful I've found I can plunge the characters into whatever absurd, awful situation, and readers will follow as long as the writer makes them seem like 'real people.' MaryJanice Davidson situation i-can long people I once came back from a book tour where sleek black cars driven by nice men in black suits waited for me at every hotel, took me to every signing, brought me back, opened car doors for me. They were great. I was great. It was a wonderful tour. MaryJanice Davidson me car black men I might occasionally forget how to open a car door and have too many shower curtains, but I've got some standards. MaryJanice Davidson door some car forget
