Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut. Artie Lange More Quotes by Artie Lange More Quotes From Artie Lange Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that Artie Lange play two way When political correctness first started coming around, it ruined Andrew Dice Clay and Eddie Murphy's stand-up career. Sam Kinison died at just the right time, 'cause no one was going to tolerate what he was saying anymore either. Artie Lange clay political careers The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent. Artie Lange real morning laughing Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do in standup is create spontaneity, somehow; even though you've done this act a million times, you gotta look like you're almost just thinking of it now, to make it entertainer. Artie Lange done looks thinking It's good to be alive. Artie Lange alive Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do. Artie Lange want It’s hard. My issue with showbiz [ is that ] it enabled me, it’s flattering and also enabling. I hope that does n’t happen to him. Artie Lange latest-headlines Only when you're in that ditch, lying there in the muddy runoff you've made of your life, gazing up at the peak you fell from, do you truly know how small you are and understand how tall you used to be. Artie Lange small understand you life I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted to do was play short stop for the Yankees from the time I was about 5. Then I turned 15 and realized how silly that was and just gave up on it. Artie Lange doctor short never time You know you have a gambling problem when it's 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book and you're walking around going, 'Hey you get the lacrosse scores?' Artie Lange you walking sports book When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard to find on a map, but that they also use the names of seasons as verbs. When they asked me, 'Where did you summer and winter growing up?' I would usually say, 'As a child? The same place I springed and autumned.' Artie Lange me you winter time When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs. Artie Lange your job you life The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons. Artie Lange smart dumb time people
