Christopher Moore: Hope is merely another face of desire.

He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.

Christopher Moore

acknowledge pride want

It's like time travel only, you know, slower.

Christopher Moore

time-travel knows

Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.

Christopher Moore

agree vampire thinking

As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education.

Christopher Moore

teacher children school

Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.

Christopher Moore

cop vampire law

If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.

Christopher Moore

enough insanity thinking

The Winter Woman is as wild as a blizzard, as fresh as new snow. While some see her as cold, she has a fiery heart under that ice-queen exterior. She likes the stark simplicity of Japanese art and the daring complexity of Russian literature. She prefers sharp to flowing lines, brooding to pouting, and rock and roll to country and western. Her drink is vodka, her car is German, her analgesic is Advil. The Winter Woman likes her men weak and her coffee strong. She is prone to anemia, hysteria, and suicide.

Christopher Moore

suicide country art

She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.

Christopher Moore

naked evil want

All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.

Christopher Moore

ifs knows trying

Oh, I get it," I said. "It's a parable. Cute. Let's go eat.

Christopher Moore

parables said cute

Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".

Christopher Moore

meek blessed

I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I looked around for one but couldn't find anything. So it's a wide-open field.

Christopher Moore

fields reflection native-american

A woman’s magazine quiz: Question: You decide to do the dread deed and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, “Was it good for you?” You: a. Say, “God, yes! That was the best seventeen seconds of my life” b. Say, “Sure, as good as it gets for me with a man.” c. Put a Certs in your navel and say, “That’s for you, Mr. Bunnyman. You can have it on your way back up, after the job is finished

Christopher Moore

good-as-it-gets jobs men

Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy

Christopher Moore

pieces kind life-is

The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.

Christopher Moore

empty gains eternity

... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?

Christopher Moore

what-if important jesus

That's a horrible plan." "Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.

Christopher Moore

chosen horrible plans

I think there was always some scrawny dreamer sitting at the edge of the firelight, who had the ability to imagine dangers, to look into the future in his imagination and see possibilities, and therefore survived to pass his genes on to the next generation.

Christopher Moore

dreamer imagination thinking

The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.

Christopher Moore

waiting-rooms doctors boring

Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt

Christopher Moore

guilt past