How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test? (to a driving instructor in Scotland)

Prince Phillip

The bastards murdered half my family. (on being asked if he would... by Prince Phillip

The bastards murdered half my family. (on being asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union)

Brazilians live there. (on the key problems facing Brazil) by Prince Phillip

Brazilians live there. (on the key problems facing Brazil)

If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed. (on a st... by Prince Phillip

If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed. (on a state visit to China)

Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf. (to a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band in Wales)

Do you still throw spears at each other? (to Australian Aborigine... by Prince Phillip

Do you still throw spears at each other? (to Australian Aborigines during a visit to Queensland)

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing. (during a speech)

If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested. (on his daug... by Prince Phillip

If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested. (on his daughter, Princess Anne)

If it had got four legs and is not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies, but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it. (commenting on Chinese eating habits at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund coference)

It looks as if it was put in by an Indian. (looking at an old-fashioned fuse box while on a factory tour near Edinburgh)

The best thing to do with a degree is to forget it. (at the Unive... by Prince Phillip

The best thing to do with a degree is to forget it. (at the University of Salford)

What do you gargle with? Pebbles? (to singer Tom Jones after a 19... by Prince Phillip

What do you gargle with? Pebbles? (to singer Tom Jones after a 1969 Royal Variety performance)

You look as if you're ready for bed. (to the Nigerian President, who was dressed in traditional robes)