How is it possible that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain? Jeff Ross More Quotes by Jeff Ross More Quotes From Jeff Ross In Boston where community policing is so important, they don't necessarily have to like each other, but they know each other. The cops in Boston make it their business to get out of their vehicles, to engage the public, to walk around the neighborhoods. They live in the community that they police. And I think these things help. Jeff Ross boston community thinking I like to roast things from the inside out. I like to know what's going on. Jeff Ross knows My own personal rule is to tell jokes that I think the person I'm making them about can laugh at, to go home and tell their family, oh, my gosh. Jeff Ross home laughing thinking Life is tough, and if we don't laugh, we're going to - our head will explode. Jeff Ross tough life-is laughing You know, sometimes I worry, you know, is comedy and my type of comedy going to get stale? Is it going to be so offensive that it becomes uninteresting or so niche that I don't have an audience anymore? But it keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger, where roasting now is a movement. These roasts are on in India, in Mexico. Jeff Ross mexico india worry My best friend is disabled. There's nothing he hates more than being left out of the jokes, to be treated with kid gloves. That's the insult. Jeff Ross my-best-friend hate kids My parents passed away when I was a teenager, so I had to learn different survival techniques, I think, in comedy. You know, using comedy as a pressure release, as a release valve in life really kept my sanity. Jeff Ross teenager parent thinking Comedians a lot of times we're on the road, we're by our self. We come home to New York to our empty one-bedroom apartment, you know, and we need a place to go where you see a bunch of other miserable people sit around and eat a corned beef sandwich. Jeff Ross new-york self home It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore. Jeff Ross comedian too-much school The real question is how do you stay funny in your 70s and 80s? And that's a real accomplishment, you know, the longevity. Jeff Ross longevity accomplishment real Comics just don't retire. They either die young or they go to 100. Jeff Ross die-young retiring young Before you can be all deprecating it's helpful to be self-deprecating. Jeff Ross self-deprecating helpful self I want the roast to be like a party where everybody goes and has a good time. Jeff Ross good-times party want Maybe I'm corny, but I'm a big believer in second chances. Jeff Ross corny second-chance bigs Ninety percent of all prisoners in all jails get out some day. So why not give them a little levity in what's otherwise a very dark life? Jeff Ross jail dark giving Sometimes during my set I invite volunteers up on stage to get speed-roasted and I'm worried that I may have hundreds of people rushing the stage all at once. Luckily I'm a black belt in karate and I can fend them off. Jeff Ross rushing volunteer people You have such a huge career ... behind you. Jeff Ross behind-you behinds careers I think Jersey stands alone, and because I'm from Jersey, I never make fun of where people are from. I'll make fun of what they look like, but I'll never make fun of where they are from. Jersey is special. Jeff Ross fun people thinking South Park called...they want their everything back. Jeff Ross south parks want I would vote for you for President but I'm against big government. Jeff Ross vote government president