How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, as long as the lightbulb wants to change. Mary Pipher More Quotes by Mary Pipher More Quotes From Mary Pipher Adolescence is when girls experience social pressure to put aside their authentic selves and to display only a small portion of their gifts. Mary Pipher girl self pressure I think anorexia is a metaphor. It is a young woman's statement that she will become what the culture asks of its women, which is that they be thin and nonthreatening. Anorexia signifies that a young woman is so delicate that, like the women of China with their tiny broken feet, she needs a man to shelter and protect her from a world she cannot handle. Anorexic women signal with their bodies "I will take up only a small amount of space. I won't get in the way." They signal "I won't be intimidating or threatening." (Who is afraid of a seventy-pound adult?) Mary Pipher feet men thinking People come here penniless but not cultureless. They bring us gifts. We can synthesize the best of our traditions with the best of theirs. We can teach and learn from each other to produce a better America. Mary Pipher immigration america people We live in a world filled with language. Language imparts identity, meaning, and perspective to our human community. Writers are either polluters or part of the clean-up team. Just as the language of power and greed has the potential to destroy us, the language of reason and empathy has the power to save us. Writers can inspire a kinder, fairer, more beautiful world, or invite selfishness, stereotyping, and violence. Writers can unite people or divide them. Mary Pipher team beautiful people When Europeans arrived on this continent, they blew it with the Native Americans. They plowed over them, taking as much as they could of their land and valuables, and respecting almost nothing about the native cultures. They lost the wisdom of the indigenous peoples-wisdom about the land and connectedness to the great web of life...We have another chance with all these refugees. People come here penniless but not cultureless. They bring us gifts. We can synthesize the best of our traditions with the best of theirs. We can teach and learn from each other to produce a better America. Mary Pipher web-of-life land native-american I'm a perfectly good carrot that everyone is trying to turn into a rose. As a carrot, I have good color and a nice leafy top. When I'm carved into a rose, I turn brown and wither. Mary Pipher perfectly-good nice color Girls have long been evaluated on the basis of appearance and caught in myriad double binds: achieve, but not too much, be polite,but be yourself, be feminine and adult; be aware of our cultural heritage, but don't comment on the sexism. . . . Girls are trained to be less than who they really are. They are trained to be what the culture wants of its young women, not what they themselves want to become. Mary Pipher being-yourself girl long I think history is inextricably linked to identity. If you don't know your history, if you don't know your family, who are you? Mary Pipher our-family identity thinking The two most radical things you can do in America are to slow down, and to talk to each other. If you do these things, you will improve your country. Mary Pipher two country america we are a small, interconnected world; that we are all safe or none of us are; that we are all well cared for or all at risk. Mary Pipher risk safe world One important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Low-key, accepting parents are the ones whose children keep talking. Mary Pipher keys talking children Adolescents' immature thinking makes it difficult for them to process the divorce. They tend to see things in black-and-white terms and have trouble putting events into perspective. They are absolute in their judgments and expect perfection in parents. They are likely to be self-conscious about their parent's failures and critical of their every move. They have the expectations that parents will keep them safe and happy and are shocked by the broken covenant. Adolescents are unforgiving. Mary Pipher divorce black-and-white moving When one of us tells the truth, he makes it easier for all of us to open our hearts to our pain and that of others. Mary Pipher pain telling-the-truth heart Maturity involves being honest and true to oneself, making decisions based on a conscious internal process, assuming responsibility for one's decisions, having healthy relationships with others and developing one's own true gifts. It involves thinking about one's environment and deciding what one will and won't accept. Mary Pipher maturity responsibility thinking Therapy isn't Radio.We don't need to constantly fill the air with sounds. Sometimes, when its quite, surprising things happen. Mary Pipher air sound needs All feelings are acceptable, but all behavior isn't. Mary Pipher acceptable behavior feelings Teenage girls are extremists who see the world in black-and- white terms, missing shades of gray. Life is either marvelous or notworth living. School is either pure torment or is going fantastically. Other people are either great or horrible, and they themselves are wonderful or pathetic failures. One day a girl will refer to herself as "the goddess of social life" and the next day she'll regret that she's the "ultimate in nerdosity. Mary Pipher teenage regret girl Coming out of the trance of denial is painful. But crises offer us opportunities to rethink our lives. The best thing about despair is that it wakes us up. We can see the world more clearly and open to new possibilities...And we can find new joy in the ordinary. Mary Pipher despair opportunity joy With meditation I found a ledge above the waterfall of my thoughts. Mary Pipher ledges meditation-practice waterfalls In all the years I've been a therapist, I've yet to meet one girl who likes her body. Mary Pipher anorexia girl years
