I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas. Roseanne Barr More Quotes by Roseanne Barr More Quotes From Roseanne Barr I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?! Roseanne Barr eating-disorder trying people In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth. Roseanne Barr able writing order The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list. Roseanne Barr girl mother teacher I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election. Roseanne Barr media running average Eating cookies that you bake with your grandmother is one of the greatest social steps one must experience in order to grow up into a decent world citizen, in my opinion. Roseanne Barr grandmother growing-up order You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park. Roseanne Barr parks body men My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it. Roseanne Barr lasts husband sex I'm on the mirror diet. You eat all your food in front of a mirror in the nude. It works pretty good, though some of the fancier restaurants don't go for it. Roseanne Barr restaurants diets mirrors Without democracy in our homes, we will never have it in the world. Roseanne Barr democracy home world Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays. Roseanne Barr vampire sunday easter I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great. Roseanne Barr hope trying people I'm a heterosexual. I don't know why I'm like this. I was just born this way. Roseanne Barr sexuality born way Whatever helps you sleep is my opinion on the subject, and that's what I like about the western world's most popular religion, it has helped put so many people to sleep, although most of them permanently and without their approval. Roseanne Barr sleep people world I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave. Roseanne Barr down-and nice persons politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses. Roseanne Barr pliers united-states politics Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians. Roseanne Barr gay hurt rights I used to think that communing with nature was a healing, positive thing. Now, I think I'd like to commune with other things - like room service and temperature control. Roseanne Barr nature healing loss I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money. Roseanne Barr get-money done stuff My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell. Roseanne Barr infidelity leaving husband two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy. Roseanne Barr cake hypocrisy two
