I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content. Jenny Eclair More Quotes by Jenny Eclair More Quotes From Jenny Eclair I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off. Jenny Eclair situation glasses ifs Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem. Jenny Eclair height wells problem I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age. Jenny Eclair clothes fashion feelings I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects. Jenny Eclair priorities issues thinking I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up. Jenny Eclair punk actresses convincing I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards. Jenny Eclair red naps lying After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga. Jenny Eclair dad drama school For me, being a woman suits what I want to talk about and what my audience wants to hear. Maybe I'm a dying breed. Jenny Eclair suits dying want A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. Jenny Eclair fart beats laughter I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world: people who have crawled back from the abyss. I'm quite camp in that respect. Jenny Eclair admire people world I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job. Jenny Eclair hate jobs people I think my siblings sometimes have to defend me within their social circles - they are both barristers. Jenny Eclair sibling circles thinking Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast. Jenny Eclair hate sight home I think as time goes by you'll get female comics who are weirder - you'll get a female Mighty Boosh. Jenny Eclair time-goes-by female thinking I still can't set up the ironing-board. A complete Luddite. Jenny Eclair ironing-board boards stills I've got this horrible feeling that I'm one of those people who'll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere. Jenny Eclair horrible feelings people Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish. Jenny Eclair skin-tone fake skins I've got a hat face. My mother always said I've got a hat face Jenny Eclair hats mother faces The only way to go on holiday is with your expectations at ground level. Convince yourself before you go that the weather's going to be dreadful and there will be nylon sheets. You'll then be pleasantly surprised. Jenny Eclair holiday expectations weather I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice. Jenny Eclair rate nice hero
